Therapist Abuse (Trigger Warning)

Hmmm @chibam that's a really interesting broader perspective. There is a doctrine aspect to policies, mission statements and the like.

One of my major hang-ups is the use of the word "utmost". According to the paperwork everyone's the utmost at everything everyone does all the time ever. It occurs to me that utmost practice would include transparency and not meaningless "smoke-screen" terms like utmost.

utmost = most extreme. (i.e the most of the most).

It's a great word but bad "doctrine".

I'm probably sounding a bit like a broken record to.

These are my thoughts, not directed at anyone in particular.

We live in a world of continuous change, 10 years ago, we did not have an app that could be downloaded to everyone on a phone to provide mindfulness, and we did not have screening tools on every website you search regarding mental health. With every year more and more tools are moving towards early intervention and more responsibility is given to the consumer to be able to make choices.

Practitioners need to balance that with the fact that with those changes, we see technology, drugs and alcohol addictions that are much more potent than in any other year. We live with backyards and outdoor spaces that have made us less connected to nature than we have ever been. Mental health issues for today are very different from the ones of 15 years ago. We also have a lot of access to information that without proper training can easily be taken out of context and be harmful instead of helpful. Few and fewer practitioners want to help these days because people want to be an expert without doing the training just because they spent a day on the internet and it met their confirmation bias criteria.

Everything we do these days is controversial and it is hard for people to not feel stressed all the time. Even when you do well such as following the rules, someone has to come along and question why you do it. Our civilisation is our own mental health enemy.

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@Appleblossom wrote:

The airy fairy vague ... find a "good fit" with your therapist is not a robust enough concept for the level of people involved in both (with the inclusion of peer support it is no longer a binary), better to say, all parts of the field.

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I couldn't agree more, @Appleblossom . I've often suspected that it is buy and large a cover-up tactic used by the industry to conceal the numbers of bad or useless therapists within it.

My enduring question is: Is anybody checking to see if there are some therapists out there who just don't happen to be a "good fit" for any of their patients?

See, if that concept isn't kept in-check, it inevitably makes the mental health system a breeding ground for useless and harmful therapists who do nothing but inflict obstruction and harm upon the patient community. You look at a situation where a therapist fails a patient and say: "Oh well, those two were just a bad fit". blindly assuming that the therapist is still an asset to the community, because they'll have other patients with who they are a "good fit".

But if you aren't checking, how do you know? For all you know, that therapist may spend all day every day making vulnerable peoples' lives hell.

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@Appleblossom wrote:

Rapport building is one thing. Effective intervention and strategies are another.

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So very true.

What's the point of "clicking" with a therapist if their never going to help you? "The Golden Rule of Therapy" has been responsible for more patient neglect and degeneration then we'll ever know.

This is what's kept me from reaching out again since I was let out of therapy; the knowledge that there's no point, because nobody out there really helps.

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@Appleblossom wrote:

Its not always helpful for the person to be nice.

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True enough. Although, I would argue that it's a good rule of thumb to start off from. 😉

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@AussieRecharger wrote:

Everything we do these days is controversial and it is hard for people to not feel stressed all the time. Even when you do well such as following the rules, someone has to come along and question why you do it. Our civilisation is our own mental health enemy.

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Very true. IMHO, the #1 thing we all need to do for out mental health is to get home. Get into a household - and ideally a community - of our kindred spirits. A place where our agendas and natures are not controversial or perpetually questioned, because it is in-sync with all the people around us. Where we are a member of our social environment, not alien to it.

That's really the only thing I want from a therapist. To be transplanted into my proper environment; focussing primarily on the most meaningful relationship (i.e. marriage), then building outwards from there. If they can't offer that service to me, they are useless.

@chibam

About "nice" not being enough or fixing things, I certainly did not mean they should be rude or abusive, but fake nice plastered over communication in real life or online can be very offputting, about the genuineness of the person ... eg ... today I got an email that had hope you had a nice day plus emoji ... when I had told them I was physically sick ... Covid like .... I am not as patient about such stuff as I used to be ... oh thats just automatic ... or the way nice people talk ... no ... I do not think so ... mind you for a long time I was not sure what a nice person was, so I reserved judgment about whether it was fake or not ... but getting older and wiser ...

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@Appleblossom wrote:

@chibam

About "nice" not being enough or fixing things, I certainly did not mean they should be rude or abusive, but fake nice plastered over communication in real life or online can be very offputting, about the genuineness of the person ... eg ... today I got an email that had hope you had a nice day plus emoji ... when I had told them I was physically sick ... Covid like .... I am not as patient about such stuff as I used to be ... oh thats just automatic ... or the way nice people talk ... no ... I do not think so ... mind you for a long time I was not sure what a nice person was, so I reserved judgment about whether it was fake or not ... but getting older and wiser ...

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I do stuff like that.

I think I sort of get where your coming from, but for me, it would just feel wrong to send a letter or whatever that dwells on negative stuff, without making some sort of effort to inject some sort of cheerfulness into the situation - such as a hope for a nicer remainder to the day, or whatever.

It's like that old saying: "All it takes for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing." I can't help but feel as if the same holds true for misery. Like, if nobody makes an effort to make the interaction more cheerful, we're all just going to keep feeling miserable.

Fully submitting to the darkness would just feel wrong. Like letting the terrorists win, you know?

I suspect that that's behind a lot of other peoples' cheerful send-offs as well.

I don't mean to sound argumentative, I'm just adding my 2 cents. I apologize if it comes off as argumentative.

Thanks for sharing your perspective or your "2 cents" @chibam .

It's good to be able to talk about issues from another lens as it encourages curiosity. Also, @chibam , thank you for stating that your intention was not to "come[s] off as argumentative."

Wouldn't it be boring if we were all the same peas in a pod?

tyme 😉