My Mood Has Crashed

@utopia, I don’t have the right words, but I wanted to let you know that I hear you and I really relate to what you are feeling. I had a cancer scare a few years back and after the radiologist reassured me that it was nothing to worry about I smiled and thanked her and saved my tears for the car park—because I too had decided that if it was cancer I would not be seeking treatment.

Tonight I am also feeling utterly alone. For what it’s worth, I just wanted you to know that I am sitting with you in that aloneness and despair and disappointment. Your feelings are valid. I hope tomorrow is an easier day for you. 💚

@utopia I wish I could say or do something to help you feel better. I am pleased to hear you have the all clear though. But can understand the build up of emotions prior this positive result.

I haven't been in your situation with a cancer scare, but my son had cancer 12 years ago and went through all the treatment available. He is all clear now. But needs to be check every 6-12 months. It was a very emotional time.

I do suffer from depression and anxiety and have been on medication for over 30 years. My only hope was to see a psychiatrist and get on the right medication as mine is a chemical imbalance in my brain.

Maybe seeing a psychiatrist or a therapist may help you talk things out and try and help you deal with your emotions. A psychiatrist can prescribe medication, even if its short term.

I am always hear to talk if you would like.

xx

 @utopia 💜💜💜

Hang in there. You might be different but GA surgery (no matter how minor) triggers prolonged depressive episodes in me for up to 6months. Strong pain killers and barbiturates do it with me too, triggers the strong SI. It does pass. Sunshine helps, and going for walks, eating healthy... you know the drill. Please ride it out, I like you being here 🌷

@utopia

Hi, I keep typing long replies to share my experience with this, then deleting them.

This is your thread.

I just wanted to support you in this. I hear you.

As @still_bookish said, I hope today proves easier for you.

I hear you…I’m 57 and really my love life , if I can call it that, has been a disaster. I feel like there’s so many unworthy people in relationships because they meet a criteria of normality that I can’t achieve. It’s really hard being alone and having no one to share your shit with.

@utopia

sending you lots of tender understanding hugs my awesome friend xoxo
i have been through a couple situations

one, when I was single and 28 and i had a death experience before being brought back to life by the ambulance which that shocked me

and number 2 , is being married
and you know my mr shaz has the same as you , when he was waiting for his results to come back
i found it really hard trying to support him as he stayed quiet the whole time and would not talk
so by the time the results came back which was negative --- i was the one that cried

sitting with you xoxo

And the blood started again 5 hours ago. There shouldn't be any blood. The polyp was removed from my cervix. The uterus cells show no cancer, just a few abnormal cells. Yet here I am, for the 3rd month in a row, with heavy blood loss. 3 years after menopause. Yet the Doctors say nothing is wrong.

Bull dust!!!

Ohh hugs @utopia ❤❤❤

Hello @utopia I had abnormalities in my pap smear last year and my GP considered it an anomaly although she said she would push the referral through when I was ready. I told her I had major houseworks which house insurance eventually would not pay for and covid was interrupting the process in getting the situation assessed by house inspectors, plumbers and geoengineers. Its been a year ago and I can't afford to get the house fixed. I know what its like feeling alone and unsupported. I too decided I would just let my health take its own course. It would be nice to think there was a caring partner but I've been solo for 12 years 🙁 and nothing has changed. You may just be feeling triggered by things right now which is understandable. Being in your 50's living with a lifetime of mental illness is not a walk in the park.

In solidarity,

S.G. 🦎