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Neurosis

Ugly_TroutSenior Contributor14 Feb 2022, 10:33 pm AEDT

Neurosis

Hi. Ive battled alcohol most of my adult life just to stop the thoughts that I have flying through my brain.Ive been sober now for 5+ years but have had an opoid habit (ceased) since then. I have always been put as a paranoid schizophrenic. Recently though, with thanks to my mental health nurse I saw a psychiatristfor a bulk billed 1 hour appointment. I do believe that people have heard things about me and that things they say are slyly pointed in my direction. Especially after dropping in my computer to get fixed a few months ago. People are in my opinion laughing at me for my porn searches. Which can out are as being attracted to women, men and transexuals. specifically of late, my brain is telling me they're saying and laughing at me because of some transgender porn I've looked up.

People have quizzed me about where my brother lives and today I went over to that side of town near the coast and people there were laughing at me too. 30km's from where I am nut enough people were reacting to me.

Any help on how to help with my neurotic thoughts?

Thanks

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In response to: Neurosis

Ugly_TroutSenior Contributor15 Feb 2022, 11:04 pm AEDT

Re: Neurosis

@Former-Member Thanks. I have a long way to go yet. But the supports I'm getting are good. I think I was screaming silently so loudly that my mental health nurse has gone above and beyond to set some things up. It gives me a bit of hope to hear someone say they got through the paranoia. thanks

In response to: Neurosis

GwynnSenior Contributor16 Feb 2022, 11:04 am AEDT

Re: Neurosis

Hey @Ugly_Trout , congratulations on your journey of sobriety thus far. In terms of feeling like everyone's laughing at you, I try to remember when I get thoughts like that that everyone's the hero of their own story - think of how often you think about your acquaintances' porn searches - I bet it's fairly close to never! So I assume that as I don't often think about laughing at others' peccadilloes, others don't often think of laughing at mine. I also like to practice metta/loving-kindness meditations, which increases my compassion towards myself and other people. If you'd like to try it, there's a good starter one here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sz7cpV7ERsM&ab_channel=UNHHealth%26Wellness

In response to: Re: Neurosis

Ugly_TroutSenior Contributor16 Feb 2022, 2:06 pm AEDT

Re: Neurosis

Thanks @Gwynn I'll check it out. I can get so tied up in my thoughts that other things go out the window. Mostly everything. So I'm willing to try anything at all. I ground myself with breathing but it can feel like a losing battle. I know I need to let go of my thoughts but they overwhelm me. So I'll give it a go. cheers

In response to: Re: Neurosis

GwynnSenior Contributor17 Feb 2022, 8:45 am AEDT

Re: Neurosis

Hey, @Ugly_Trout, it helps if you can try to practice when you're calm, too. If you think it'd help, you could put a reminder in your diary. I like to read Mindful magazine (https://www.mindful.org, also available through your local library's Overdrive app) because it gives me lots of new ideas about mindfulness and meditation to try, and there's some good information in there about how it all works. Probably the meditation that I do the most is UCLA's Body Scan for Sleep (https://www.uclahealth.org/marc/mindful-meditations#english), haha.

If you find that one type of meditation is difficult, you may like to try another, or try again on another day. You've already made great strides for your mental health by being sober for five years, so please don't feel like the grounding stuff is a losing battle. Every drink that you haven't drunk is doing you good, and every time you try the grounding stuff, you're learning to help yourself.

It has taken time for you to wear this path into your brain, it will take time for the grass to grow over this path and for you to wear another path into your brain. Don't forget to be kind to yourself in the process of unlearning and relearning how to be. 🙂

In response to: Re: Neurosis

Ugly_TroutSenior Contributor17 Feb 2022, 10:43 am AEDT

Re: Neurosis

thanks @Gwynn @Former-Member @AussieRecharger @Former-Member I think I've gotten some good advice on here. Gwynn, thanks for the sober support, there are times where I question who I gave up drinking for. Like, was it just to please everyone around me? Then I remind myself that I made the decision because I realised I was slowly committing suicide drinking 24/7. And that I wanted to live. That may not always be the happiest of choices at times, but from all of you I have gotten that it's all in my mind, and if it's not, there's tools I can use to combat my thoughts. I'm hoping that I can put them into action.

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