Spinning spinning…

@petrichor

Self care of whatever works for you.

I have not actually thought of them as 2 different aspects, it was just the way I posted about it.

When I stopped wanting to overcome my vulnerability, but started taking stock and recognising my vulnerability in a self protective manner, I withdrew. Stopped driving cos not safe. Went to bed. A lot of rocking, crying, but I am prety much all cried out now. In last 5 years given prn meds so take them. I play piano and Beethoven is soothing for me. A lot of time in bed, but as my general personality is pretty active, almost driven, I would not say it is too much. It was necessary. I would never say I cant get out of bed to do basic things as the basic things are usually done. I am not that kind of depressive, more a florid suicidal ideation kind. Sometimes I get active to distract from that. Develop a language of self respect and protection. Try different things that have given you pleasure before.

Hiya @petrichor 👋

I find that turning on the radio helps to ground my thoughts with music, but it is also peppered with news reports so perhaps a speaker and phone or some other source of favourite music might help ? Even if it’s low in the background. It gives your brain something else to focus on, and splitting your attention when plagued by negative thoughts.

I try to dress in beautiful colours when I am feeling like crap for the same reason, and put coloured nail polish on my hands where I see it all the time.

If these suggestions don’t work for you I hope they inspire you to something else.

🌷 F&H

Hi @Peregrinefalcon

thank you for the reminders. I’ve contacted one in my crisis team and I had a shower. I got myself an ice-cream.

I’m just terrified that I am so far away from everything and everyone I know and I won’t be able to build up local support until I have know where I’ll actually live. People think it’s an adventure but it’s pretty scary and there are so many unknowns and so many changes.

Hi @Appleblossom

I understand what you are saying about ‘not’ overcoming vulnerability. People always told me how strong I was and my friend from back where I grew up said that I’m so strong I’ll keep fighting after the suicide attempt. After my last attempt I told her that it’s more to accept that ‘I’m weak’ and accept that others sometimes make a decision when I’m not we’ll enough. It makes me cringe but I know that’s an agreement I made with my care team after my last attempt. I just don’t think it would make me any better to go to a place I don’t know. I’ve got issues with feeling safe.

i love the piano. I’ve never played but I love piano. When you say that you withdrew, does that work for you? Withdrawing is a warning sign for me because I lose more ‘touch with reality’ (I don’t know how to explain that) when I don’t have interactions with real people. I guess we’re all different.

take care apple

Hi @MDT

thank you for your reply. I understand you limiting external stimuli. I get overwhelmed and I’ve learnt to (and keep forgetting to) take earplugs, headphones, sun glasses etc when I go out.

Hi @Faith-and-Hope

i like that you’re using colours. I don’t have many clothes but I like the colours outside. I like doing name 5 green things, 5 red things… i paint and I love seeing the world in colours and shapes. I miss having an art space. I have painting things but I used to have several projects spread out and sometimes just look at canvases for weeks, stuff everywhere, until I paint, draw, sew… I somehow don’t feel that kind of creativity now. Art is a private thing for me and I don’t have privacy anymore.

do you like art?

What do you like doing @petrichor

Sitting with you my friend xx

Hi @Shaz51

i like painting. Painting without time constraints, for hours or days. Just me, my paintings and loud music.

what do you like doing?