2022 is shit already

Thanks @Bunniekins im Just really sad

@ArraDreaming I know it is a terrible thing to feel that your child is being bullied .... big hugs

@ArraDreaming does he have a year 6 peer buddy? having an older school member can help with bullying

@ArraDreaming good luck with todayx

@ArraDreaming

Hugs for you & your 4 year old. It must be hard to hear of your child being bullied when you also have experienced bullying.

Starting kinder is a big thing, especially when he already is anxious. Well done to you all for the progress you made last year to prepare for this event. Even though the bullying and your child's reaction of never wanting to go again are setbacks, that doesn't negate the achievement of getting there in the first place, or what is going to happen in the future. A positive mindset of these being a setback rather than a disaster could help you to cope. Try to help him to see that there were good things that happened too - things he enjoyed playing with, things he learnt, people who were nice to him.

Although as a parent you want to protect your child, don't forget to include your child in making decisions on what to do, as that can help him develop feel in control. Although never going to school again isn't really an option, perhaph you could ask him what would help him feel better after kinder (such as things he likes to do or eat), and what things might help him feel safer at kinder.

And keep telling & showing him that he is loved no matter what: even if he is different, even if he has a bad day or gets upset.

You can get through this.

Hi @ArraDreaming ,

@CrazyChick has made some really good points.

I've been thinking, do you think your anxiety of your boy's anxiety is making his anxiety worse? It's a somewhat vicious cycle.

In a way, it seems you are waiting to your boy to be 'well' and happy at school so that you can feel relaxed and happy. Do you think it can be flipped? That is, you feel relaxed, and that way that transfers to your son? I'm just thinking.

As parents, one of the hardest things is for parents to walk away from their screaming child. From experience, the shorter the goodbye, the easier it is for both. A firm, "Goodbye. I'll see you after lunch" is a great way to just let go. 4 year olds do not know time - they simply relate time to what is happening.

As part of transition, you can initially say "Goodbye, i'll pick you up before snack", then gradually increase this to "I'll pick you up after snack", "I'll pick you before lunch", "I'll pick you up after lunch" etc.

Do you think your son needs a fresh start at a new kinder?

There's so much to consider. The main thing is that you remain resilient - for your son's sake.

Hope this helps,

tyme