Surprise pregnancy

Hi @Wander,

It can be really hard to lose the element of choice, and I am hearing that you are sitting with a lot of big thoughts and feelings now the miscarriage has started. It sounds like you have a doctor that is involved in monitoring and supporting you. Do you have other people around today to support you with what you are going through?

I am really sorry to hear that you didn't get the time you were hoping for to come to make that decision when you were ready to. You mentioned picturing motherhood, and it's really common when we are experiencing big life choices to imagine both sides, and to want more time to make a decision. It sounds like you know what you want for your body and your life with getting a new IUD, and I appreciate your strength in communicating with us the choices that you plan to make for you into the future. Do you have a supportive relationship with your doctor?

What you are going through today with the miscarriage is not something you have to go through alone- we are all here to support you, offer a listening ear, and be a space for you to share your thoughts and feelings

Hi @Wander ,

Thank you for trusting us enough to share your story and your journey with us.

As hard as the situation is, I hope for the best for you and your partner at this time.

As @Daisydreamer has mentioned, please reach out to any supports around you. We are sitting with you.

tyme

I've found it so helpful to be able to share my experience in a forum such as this. It's allowed to me to talk through my thoughts and feelings without announcing it too everyone around me in my life, as it is a difficult thing to talk about.

I'm at peace with it now and thank all who have contributed here.

Hi @Wander ,

I can't help but think about how difficult things must have been for you over the past few weeks.

I just wanted to check-in with you as I pass through. How are you?

Looking to hear from you,

tyme

Thanks @tyme

I'm feeling okay about it all now. The miscarriage has been complete with no complications so I'm grateful for that. I certainly need to reassess how I feel about having a child in the future now as I feel the experience has made me aware I'm not quite as childfree by choice as I thought. I think it would be wise for me to sit with it for awhile now rather than making any significant decisions whilst it's still so fresh. I didn't think it would affect me emotionally the way it did. When I look at it logically, I had the IUD for the best protection, it's very purpose was to prevent pregnancy, it was an active decision. However the moment I discovered I really do have a ball of growing cells that would become a little human in mere months I felt conflicted. Like it was already my baby and I felt a sense of connection to the idea. I didn't think I would feel a sense of loss, but to a degree I still did. Now I know it's definitely over I'm able to be more objective in looking at the big picture, but that change in perspective that happened almost overnight seemed to override the months and months of thinking on the topic of having children and decision I thought I had made, albeit not one I was 100% certain on anyway.

Thanks for your post @Wander .

It's definitely not a decision I've had to make, so I can only imagine the conflict of thoughts inside your mind. So many ifs and buts.

I commend you on your strength and your bravery in reaching out at such a vulnerable time. I am so grateful you have such a support partner, too! You definitely deserve it.

Whatever your thoughts and decisions, we are with you.

I'm so glad things are settling. I'll see you around on the forums 😉

All the best,

tyme