FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

I was raped a little over 20 years ago now. It was by someone I knew and trusted and it occurred in my own home. I was physically injured, concussed, ashamed, afraid, embarrassed - all the usual things.

I never reported it to the authorities and never spoke to anyone about it. I had never been a particularly social person, but afterwards I isolated myself completely other than heading off to work dutifully each day.

After 18 years of almost constant battles with anxiety, flashbacks, nightmares, triggers, etc, I finally sought help from a psychologist. Initially it was for pain management as I suffered a severe back injury about 2 years after the rape. So after almost 2 years of occasional appointments I finally told her during a particularly difficult time (anniversary) what had happened all those years ago.

So early last year I was officially diagnosed with PTSD. On my clinical psychologists advice I have undergone a series of Exposure Therapy and CBT last year. It was a long, arduous and extremely difficult process. However, it did help to some degree.

However the nightmares, anxiety symptoms, etc continued. This was probably made worse as last year was an extremely difficult one for me all round. My little 11yo niece was killed in a car accident, my brother seriously and permanently injured, I was retrenched from my job when the business was sold, and I found out that my husband was cheating on me again. So I guess none of that helped.

And then on 29th February this year it was the 20th anniversary of my trauma. It seemed to hit me even harder than usual, I dont know why. There just seemed to be triggering events around every corner, it was awful. I struggled very badly.

My psychologist decided to try EMDR treatment once things settled down a bit. She felt it would help with the emotional content of my traumatic memories. So between April and early September this year, I have undergone 10 2xhour EMDR sessions. I am now on a break to see how things are now.

But in the meantime she wants me to talk to people about what happened, as it is an important part of the recovery process she says. However I find this really hard as I do not have any friends (my hubby is a narsissist according to my psychologist). I have become very isolated other than for my part-time work which I was lucky enough to find in January. I do some volunteer work in the aged care industry, which I enjoy. But I just do not have any friends I am able to talk to. My family live a long way away, and I could never tell them anyway.

Although I am still unable to verbally speak about the rape, I can now write about it, and even think about it to some extent, without bringing on a panic attack. So that's progress. I hope that by discussing it further and by learning how other people cope with their PTSD symptoms, I can further desensitise myself from my traumatic memories.

Hence my decision to try an online forum. I look forward to responses from other people who have had similar experiences to myself. I am definitely more of a listener than a talker, so I hope that I may be able to be of assistance to others here as well.

Thankyou for taking the time to read my story.

2344 replies

901 - 910 of 2,344

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Hi @Former-Member Thinking of you and wondering if you’re ok?

I won’t write much, because wifi if playing up again and I don’t know if messages will even send. So will attempt to write more another time.

Are you ok?

💜☕️

Hopefully WiFi will be better later.

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Hi @Former-Member I have seen your support around the forum and noticed a few wonderfully supportive posts you have made. I know this is an extremely difficult time for you and wanted to check in to see how you are going.

Nothing can take back the pain you must be feeling at this time of the year but I hope it helps a little to know that you are not alone and there are many people here thinking of you and supporting you Hon.

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member sitting with you and Holly and giving lots of hugs , here for you xxx

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Hi @KobeCat

ive just tried the link and it says

access denied ???

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

❤️❤️ @Former-Member

you mean a lot to me xxx

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Hi @KobeCat

I re-read the removed post in my inbox, and I am confused as to why it was removed also ? Perhaps it was in error ?

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Zoe7 @outlander @Faith-and-Hope @Shaz51 @Peri @Starta @BlueBay @Mumi

@KobeCat The link to the removed post on Thursday does not work, and I do not understand why it was removed or moved anyway. I do not recall anything being posted here which was inappropriate? I'm confused ... sorry.

I felt you all deserved an update, as its unfair of me to not respond to your many posts. You may have guessed that I am not doing so well right now. Well .. thats true. I hope this post will enlighten you somewhat.

Once again I find myself shutting down physically and emotionally and becoming more and more isolated. I'm doing a fantastic job of pushing away the only few people I still have in my life. Is this is a self protection thing, or more an issue of self destruction? I'm really not sure.

I'm retreating more and more into myself. It's as though I have no identity ... that I'm merely an observer, rather than a participator, in life. I don't feel confident to actively participate on the forums at present. And yet this is a place I've always felt comfortable, to talk and know I'm amongst friends. Now I cannot trust myself to say the right thing. I fear what will happen when I inevitable get it wrong. I don't even know where my words are coming from sometimes. I'm reactive, confused and not thinking clearly. I've completely lost confidence in myself and I feel worthless and horrible.

It's so hard being me sometimes and ... ohh how I wish I knew why I somehow manage to continually stuff things up. Why do I always get things so damned wrong? What the hell's wrong with me? Can I be fixed, is it worth trying, do I even want to be fixed? These are questions I don't know the answer to any more.

My psych tells me I need to open up more ... to talk about how I feel, to release emotions, to reach out to others ... and not just shut down when things get too difficult. She knows I use the forums ... it was she who originally recommended I join a forum. She thought being able to speak anonymously to others in a similar situation would be helpful. She was right about that, as I've been able to open up about all sorts of things here, to be honest and upfront about the way things are ... mostly. This is something I'd never have done in real life. She insists it's okay to be vulnerable ... that people will understand and respond in kind. But I'm not so sure, and I don't really want anyone to know all of what goes on in my troubled mind at times.

Intrusive thoughts are increasing lately, and they're particularly relentless at night and distressingly real. I often get this, along with the inevitable nightmares, as the anniversary of my main trauma approaches. If I'm feeling strong in the lead up, I can deal with this reasonably well. But this year has been a bad one, I don't feel that I have much resilience left. I've had a number of triggers in the immediate lead up, and it's been a particularly difficult year in number of respects. I'm left feeling extremely vulnerable, teetering on the verge. Likely in an effort to compensate/escape/avoid, I realise I've also begun to dissociate more.

My psych asked me last week if I've been dissociating much lately. She said I'd appeared to 'drift off' several times during our last session, and she was forced to gently bring me back to the here and now. I admitted I'd caught myself doing that a bit lately. She explained that it's a fairly common method of coping with stress, or when confronted with trauma.

I know I dissociated immediately after I was raped. I have a gap in my memory of maybe an hour or more, memories which I've never regained. The last I remember was that he was there and I was hurt and afraid ... then, sometime later .. he was gone, and it was dark. It's probably a good thing I don't know what occurred during that missing time. My psych said it's likely I'll never recall those missing hour/s, because our brain protects us from recalling things which are too painful to process.

I accept that dissociating can be a good coping method at the time of immense trauma, but I also understand that lapsing into a dissociative state now (when not physically threatened) is counterproductive. It doesn't solve anything .. it's a temporary reprieve, only allowing avoidance for a short time. But isn't it better to avoid things which you currently feel incapable of coping with, and then try to deal with them when you're feeling stronger?

For now I find myself increasingly drawn into my own, relatively secure, inner world. I feel like hibernating for a time, only willing to emerge when I feel it's safe to do so. But I keep being told this is not a good thing. I'm not sure how to do anything else though. This is just what I do when life becomes too difficult.

I had an appointment to see my psychologist next Wednesday, but yesterday morning I rang her receptionist and said I wouldn't be able to make it, and cancelled. Last night I got an email from my psych wanting to know why I had cancelled, and whether I was okay. I told her I didn't want to see her then because it was the day before anniversary date and I just wanted to shut down and hibernate for the next week or two. She agreed that it may be more productive and less triggering to move the apt forward a couple of weeks. So she has rescheduled my appointment for 14th March. She suggested I keep in touch via email in the meantime. She has contacted me again this evening, which is nice of her, but unneccessary.

I know you lovely people are here for me too, and that's incredibly reassuring. I've been advised to continue to engage here with you, the Sane community. This I know is good for me, so I will try my best to do so, as and when I can. I also promised my psych this evening that I would continue to reach out to others. But please forgive me some inconsistencies and likely absences over the coming week or two.

Meanwhile I thank all of you for your messages of support and concern over the past week. I will be okay, so please dont worry.

Sherry 🌺🤗💕

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member It us quite understandable that you feel vulnerable and closed off at this time of year. Anniversaries are extremely hard to get through Hon and if it is closing yourself off for a time that helps you do that then I say that is what you need to do. We all deal with trauma and the after effects in so many different ways - the one thing that does unite us here though is the empathy and thought we give to each other - you deserve that as much as anyone. This is no doubt going to be a very difficult week for you but we are here when nd if you need us. You don;t need to write about what is going on for you unless you feel you can - but knowing we are around for you and that you are here with us is enough. You give so much of yourself here on the forum Sherry and help so many people with your kind words and gentle approach - let us now be that soft place you can land for you this week.

You are so much in my thoughts at the moment - I hear your pain and can imagine what you are going through. Reach out as much as you need and know that we are here with you - riding the waves and feeling every single emotion in your words. Some things we can't write about here - especially when the pain is too great but having people that get it without the words is also a relief at times. Stay as connected as you can be and feel the love of the community - because my dear Sherry you are very much loved here. Hugs and hugs Hon

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member 💗

901 - 910 of 2,344