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Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

I was raped a little over 20 years ago now. It was by someone I knew and trusted and it occurred in my own home. I was physically injured, concussed, ashamed, afraid, embarrassed - all the usual things.

I never reported it to the authorities and never spoke to anyone about it. I had never been a particularly social person, but afterwards I isolated myself completely other than heading off to work dutifully each day.

After 18 years of almost constant battles with anxiety, flashbacks, nightmares, triggers, etc, I finally sought help from a psychologist. Initially it was for pain management as I suffered a severe back injury about 2 years after the rape. So after almost 2 years of occasional appointments I finally told her during a particularly difficult time (anniversary) what had happened all those years ago.

So early last year I was officially diagnosed with PTSD. On my clinical psychologists advice I have undergone a series of Exposure Therapy and CBT last year. It was a long, arduous and extremely difficult process. However, it did help to some degree.

However the nightmares, anxiety symptoms, etc continued. This was probably made worse as last year was an extremely difficult one for me all round. My little 11yo niece was killed in a car accident, my brother seriously and permanently injured, I was retrenched from my job when the business was sold, and I found out that my husband was cheating on me again. So I guess none of that helped.

And then on 29th February this year it was the 20th anniversary of my trauma. It seemed to hit me even harder than usual, I dont know why. There just seemed to be triggering events around every corner, it was awful. I struggled very badly.

My psychologist decided to try EMDR treatment once things settled down a bit. She felt it would help with the emotional content of my traumatic memories. So between April and early September this year, I have undergone 10 2xhour EMDR sessions. I am now on a break to see how things are now.

But in the meantime she wants me to talk to people about what happened, as it is an important part of the recovery process she says. However I find this really hard as I do not have any friends (my hubby is a narsissist according to my psychologist). I have become very isolated other than for my part-time work which I was lucky enough to find in January. I do some volunteer work in the aged care industry, which I enjoy. But I just do not have any friends I am able to talk to. My family live a long way away, and I could never tell them anyway.

Although I am still unable to verbally speak about the rape, I can now write about it, and even think about it to some extent, without bringing on a panic attack. So that's progress. I hope that by discussing it further and by learning how other people cope with their PTSD symptoms, I can further desensitise myself from my traumatic memories.

Hence my decision to try an online forum. I look forward to responses from other people who have had similar experiences to myself. I am definitely more of a listener than a talker, so I hope that I may be able to be of assistance to others here as well.

Thankyou for taking the time to read my story.

2344 replies

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In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member 💙💚💗💛

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member 💕💜💕🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member, hello lovely Sherry, I’m just calling in to ask RUOK?..and sending you some love and hugs..💚🤗🤗..I’ve been thinking about you and remembered our nights sitting under the stars..Sleep well beautiful Sherry....Sunset at my home..

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Dear @Starta - thank you for calling in to ask if I'm OK. I also love the picture of the sunset seen from your place - its beautiful. Its sweet of you to think of me as you're going through so much yourself. Oh yes ... an evening stargazing sounds lovely, and I would love to do that with you. Although its been so hot lately .. not at all comfortable, and even the nights dont seem to cool off any. When sleep is already terribly difficult, it just makes it even worse. So please ... tell me how you are getting along. Are you back at work and managing to stick to your regular routine of eating 3 meals a day and sleeping regular hours?

Sherry 🤗💕

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Dear @Zoe7 @Maggie @Shaz51 @Faith-and-Hope @outlander @Starta @Peri @Former-Member @BlueBay @Appleblossom @Sophia1 @Bunniekins @Former-Member

Hubby had his appointment with his psychiatrist yesterday. He's had his ADs increased again. I always feel like I'm imposing when I go in to hubby's psych appointments. I sit in the waiting room to allow him to go in on his own, but he calls me in anyway. I think he is just not confident these days of remembering things, so he likes me in there. But if it were me, I'd not like someone coming in with me when I visited my psych. Hubby has definitely changed in that regard over the past year. There is no way he'd ever have had me go in with him for any appointment before. But now, he asks me to go in with him for all appointments, no matter who they are with. I guess I understand it for oncologists, neurologists, GPs, etc ... I am his carer after all. But I do think psych's are a little different. At least I like this latest psychiatrist of his. The psych he had until last year (he retired) was totally crazy! I could hear him ranting and raving from the waiting room. He was always kinda scary to me really.

Hubby was feeling particularly unwell last night, a raging headache and severe vertigo. To the extent that he had another fall. I asked him to sit and not move around. Which he tried to do, but when he had to get up to go to the toilet overnight, he fell backwards and hurt his back. Nothing major thankfully, but just makes him feel that much more vulnerable. I woke him up for a late breakfast a while ago, so he could take his assorted pills. But he's now gone back to bed again. We see his neurologist tomorrow so we will discuss whether it's likely to be to do with his Parkinson's Disease or associated medication, or whether something else is in play here. He is due for more scans to monitor his cancer next month. Hoping it's nothing to do with that, as he was in remission.

I said last week that I've lapsed into self destruct mode. That's still the case, and I have turned to alcohol lately in an effort to stem the bad feelings. When hubby goes to bed at night, I sit up and have a few drinks in the hope I can settle myself and with some luck even get some sleep. I might add that it's not helping, and in fact is likely making things worse. I'm just so desperate to not have to think .. about anything. I want oblivion ... but cannot find it, not even in the bottom of a scotch bottle.

I managed to make it to my pilates class on Monday and fulfilled my volunteer role at the nursing home on Wednesday. I think I'm doing okay with that. So why am I not feeling better than I am? I'm constantly very restless, fidgety and feeling unsettled. I don't seem able to shake these feelings. I know a lack of sleep is not helping. And yeah ... I know turning to alcohol is not helping either. I feel that I'm perhaps my own worst enemy in that regard. But at the moment, I cannot seem to make myself care.

I appreciate all your comments regarding the friend I had from when we worked together as volunteers elsewhere. He sent me a lovely email earlier this week, telling me that he will always be there for me, I just have to email him back ... any time. He is a good man, and I appreciate his email. But I'm not ready to go there yet, not when I'm feeling as bad as I am. The reasons for backing off from the friendship in the first place, still exist. I have nothing to offer in return. I'm an empty vessel, someone trying to cling to a will to live. I fear that I'm a major drain on others around me, so I prefer to retreat to my safe place .. alone. But at least he has let me know that this bridge can be mended. He knows me well enough not to push the issue, but just gently let me know that when I'm ready .. he's still there. It's reassuring in a way.

The thing is, if I'm feeling this bad now ... I hate to think how I'll be next month ... February/March is traditionally my worst and most triggering time of year ... anniversary time. 29th February ... forever printed in my head and my memories. I should be thankful the actual date only comes around every 4 years. This year is not one of them .. so I should be celebrating.

I finally bit the bullet Monday and phoned to make an appointment with a GP for 2 weeks time. Not my regular GP, it's a female registrar at the same practice. That was the soonest I could get in with anyone, either GP or nurse. This registrar will be leaving soon, as her 6 months stint is almost up. But that doesn't matter, I only need a pap smear done and perhaps some blood tests to check the possibility of Rheumatoid Arthritis. If I have time, I may also discuss the fact that my dizziness has not improved. 2 weeks is still a long way off though, so I'm resisting the temptation to cancel before then. Now I'm worried about taking this sedative (benzo) medication beforehand. I'm not sure how long before my apt that I need to take it. Not sure if I can drive while under the influence of it, or how long it may last. Never having used it before I don't know how I will react to it. Worry ... worry ... there's always something isn't there?

Sigh ...........

Sherry 🌸🤗💜💕

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

So much happening for you Hon and so much to deal with. It is in no way surprising that you feel like you do @Former-Member You lay your heart and soul out here and despite all you are going through you are still here reaching out and also supporting others. I see both great strength and vulnerability in your post and can only imagine how hard it is to deal with your hubby's health as well as your own. It is great that you have made that appointment - maybe call the gp to discuss when and how you take the calmer - so you know the effects it may have on you and especially if you can drive. I find the calmer I have is okay for driving but yours might be different and each one of us reacts differently to them also.

I knew that particular anniversary was coming up for you Hon and that is so incredibly hard - try to put in place some good things on that day so your mind is not just filled with the bad memories. I have started to do thst on those tricky anniversary days and it does help to get through. Just a suggestion though @Former-Member as I also know how hard it is to have anything positive on those days.

Sending you huge hugs snd much love

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Feel for you @Former-Member you have so much to deal with.

Senfing you hugs ❤️❤️

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Hi @Former-Member

Sending love and hugs your way.

So hard for you.

I have a bottle of scotch handy as well. Wish we could have one together.

I know what you mean though. It doesn’t help. Wish it did.

You mentioned about not knowing how the prn will affect you.

Could you try some before your GP appointment, to see how they affect you and to see if you think you’ll be ok to drive.

I am fine driving with them. Probably better. Because I’m not so nervous taking them. But we’re all different, so perhaps try it before your appointment and see how you feel.

💖☕️🌸🌷

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member

It is great you did your volunteer role. Sometimes it takes a while for self care to work. With hubbies mental and physical health issues, there is alot of pressure on you, even when he does not ask for things. Try and find ways to fill your own vessel. You are worthy. Dont judge yourself for your feelings, just gently keep finding things to top you up. (maybe not oodles of scotch, just a sip ... lol )

I have to be careful on prn. I find sometimes I can drive with them and sometimes it is not wise. All depends ... Could it be a good movie time after he has gone to bed ???

Hi @BlueBay @Zoe7 @Starta

@Former-Member Good to see you around, even though things are difficult.

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

So much happening for you Hon and so much to deal with. @Former-Member my friend

Mr shaz is the same , wants me to be in there with him as he forgets everything xxx

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