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Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

I was raped a little over 20 years ago now. It was by someone I knew and trusted and it occurred in my own home. I was physically injured, concussed, ashamed, afraid, embarrassed - all the usual things.

I never reported it to the authorities and never spoke to anyone about it. I had never been a particularly social person, but afterwards I isolated myself completely other than heading off to work dutifully each day.

After 18 years of almost constant battles with anxiety, flashbacks, nightmares, triggers, etc, I finally sought help from a psychologist. Initially it was for pain management as I suffered a severe back injury about 2 years after the rape. So after almost 2 years of occasional appointments I finally told her during a particularly difficult time (anniversary) what had happened all those years ago.

So early last year I was officially diagnosed with PTSD. On my clinical psychologists advice I have undergone a series of Exposure Therapy and CBT last year. It was a long, arduous and extremely difficult process. However, it did help to some degree.

However the nightmares, anxiety symptoms, etc continued. This was probably made worse as last year was an extremely difficult one for me all round. My little 11yo niece was killed in a car accident, my brother seriously and permanently injured, I was retrenched from my job when the business was sold, and I found out that my husband was cheating on me again. So I guess none of that helped.

And then on 29th February this year it was the 20th anniversary of my trauma. It seemed to hit me even harder than usual, I dont know why. There just seemed to be triggering events around every corner, it was awful. I struggled very badly.

My psychologist decided to try EMDR treatment once things settled down a bit. She felt it would help with the emotional content of my traumatic memories. So between April and early September this year, I have undergone 10 2xhour EMDR sessions. I am now on a break to see how things are now.

But in the meantime she wants me to talk to people about what happened, as it is an important part of the recovery process she says. However I find this really hard as I do not have any friends (my hubby is a narsissist according to my psychologist). I have become very isolated other than for my part-time work which I was lucky enough to find in January. I do some volunteer work in the aged care industry, which I enjoy. But I just do not have any friends I am able to talk to. My family live a long way away, and I could never tell them anyway.

Although I am still unable to verbally speak about the rape, I can now write about it, and even think about it to some extent, without bringing on a panic attack. So that's progress. I hope that by discussing it further and by learning how other people cope with their PTSD symptoms, I can further desensitise myself from my traumatic memories.

Hence my decision to try an online forum. I look forward to responses from other people who have had similar experiences to myself. I am definitely more of a listener than a talker, so I hope that I may be able to be of assistance to others here as well.

Thankyou for taking the time to read my story.

2344 replies

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In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Very brave sharing @Former-Member . Sending my warmest wishes and wanting you to know you are very much valued here. Hoping the support you are receiving helps you see a beacon of light.

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Hi @Former-Member

I’m glad you’re here and working on a safety plan. I’ve done that snd it’s been a help when I’m in crisis.

Im sorry hubby isn’t well and now your brother in law is in hospital. You’ve been through so much lately

Hugs sbd love your way @Former-Member ❤️❤️💐

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member 💕💕💕💜💜💜

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Here with you @Former-Member 🌻💜🌻💜🌻

Glad to hear about your safety plan, mine has saved me before. 🦋

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Thanks everyone @Molliex @Maggie @BlueBay @eth @Former-Member

Just got more bad news I'm afraid. My brother in law remains in ICU. The Drs are telling us that his whole body is now shutting down .. he is dying. His kidneys never responded after being on dialysis a few days ago, so hes now back on dialysis permanently. His heart, liver and everything else is shutting down too. The Drs say that his heart will soon give out and they cannot kick start him because he will end up being a vegetable. So it sounds like its just a matter of time. Nobody knows what caused his fall in the first place because he hasnt been able to talk. He is now unresponsive and just waiting to die. Oh god .. I've only recently been through all this with my Mum. He is only 63, he shouldnt be dying. My husband is taking this really hard, understandably. He says what can we do? There isnt anything. We cannot get there any sooner than we are already booked to go. @Shaz51 @Faith-and-Hope @Zoe7 @Former-Member @BlueBay @outlander others. I feel so flattened, like the breath has been knocked out of me.

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Oh dear @Former-Member my heart breaks for you, truly it does. Sitting with you as there just are no words for so much heart break. 💜💕💜💕💜

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member

Gently Gently. There is so much going on for you.

I cant say much, but that you are valued by many here on the forum and by me.

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member,
Sorry to hear this shocking news with your BIL (is that hubby's bro?). These are big life curveballs you're having to navigate. Please pace yourself, survival mode is ok for a time, go gently and take lots of breaks through the day. We're here for you too.
I was about to post this reply before I head this last bombshell, but I'll post it anyway, for what it's worth:

Hi @Former-Member, I didn't realise things had escalated to this level for you, just that you'd been so quiet, I'm glad you like the flowers in the rain, I saw you as one of them, shining as you do regardless of the weather. I hadn't finished reading your post this morning, but here now and walking with you.
I'm so proud of you for staying with us instead of withdrawing, even though we're fickle at times, because the good does outweigh the bad.
Safety Plans are good to have, I must revise mine. Knowing our Warning Signs and Triggers is half the battle. Its no surprise you've go all the warning signs - I find most people with SI have this... (extreme overload looking for a way out)... I have trouble monitoring my feelings building up so it's been a breakthrough for me to see SI as a 'red flag' rather than an option, and to start urgently reactivating all strategies learnt. This might mean moving other things out the way. I'm glad you've identified the escalating warning signs and taking action - like not isolating yourself from here. We need each other 💓
My reasons to live are hard to find too, but guess that's the point of the exercise - to remind us. It revelotutionised me to identify my values, and reacquaint with the things that bring me a sense of joy after I've done them (like sewing, country views, prayer, discovering things, making things beautiful) and i do these things more... feeds my soul... Self nurture I guess - putting yourself first sometimes. Exercising restraint away from destructive paths is hard work, but replacing them with good seems a more natural shift for me. You have so many skills - craft, Art, Movies, Music, Reading, Crosswords and Sudoku, Gardening, and of cause fur baby Holly - can't buy that kind of joy 🙂
I get those thoughts too: "not wanted" "better off without me" "nothing left to lose"... Its Blackdog twisting things you know. Have you read the book "taming the blackdog"? Really good.
I'm glad you're back sooner than expected 👍 You can get through. - stay strong. You can't take you out of the equation entirely, because you have to do it for you most of all.
You are worthy!
You are enough!
💜💙❤️🧡💚💛
🌷🦉

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

ohhhh my darling @Former-Member and mr S

I am in a flood of tears my friend , sorry this is what happened to my father

ohhh sending you understanding hugs my @Former-Member

sorry darling , can`t say anymore and my heart and my love is with you and Mr S xoxoxo

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

I'm so sorry @Former-Member 🦋❤️❤️❤️

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