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Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

I was raped a little over 20 years ago now. It was by someone I knew and trusted and it occurred in my own home. I was physically injured, concussed, ashamed, afraid, embarrassed - all the usual things.

I never reported it to the authorities and never spoke to anyone about it. I had never been a particularly social person, but afterwards I isolated myself completely other than heading off to work dutifully each day.

After 18 years of almost constant battles with anxiety, flashbacks, nightmares, triggers, etc, I finally sought help from a psychologist. Initially it was for pain management as I suffered a severe back injury about 2 years after the rape. So after almost 2 years of occasional appointments I finally told her during a particularly difficult time (anniversary) what had happened all those years ago.

So early last year I was officially diagnosed with PTSD. On my clinical psychologists advice I have undergone a series of Exposure Therapy and CBT last year. It was a long, arduous and extremely difficult process. However, it did help to some degree.

However the nightmares, anxiety symptoms, etc continued. This was probably made worse as last year was an extremely difficult one for me all round. My little 11yo niece was killed in a car accident, my brother seriously and permanently injured, I was retrenched from my job when the business was sold, and I found out that my husband was cheating on me again. So I guess none of that helped.

And then on 29th February this year it was the 20th anniversary of my trauma. It seemed to hit me even harder than usual, I dont know why. There just seemed to be triggering events around every corner, it was awful. I struggled very badly.

My psychologist decided to try EMDR treatment once things settled down a bit. She felt it would help with the emotional content of my traumatic memories. So between April and early September this year, I have undergone 10 2xhour EMDR sessions. I am now on a break to see how things are now.

But in the meantime she wants me to talk to people about what happened, as it is an important part of the recovery process she says. However I find this really hard as I do not have any friends (my hubby is a narsissist according to my psychologist). I have become very isolated other than for my part-time work which I was lucky enough to find in January. I do some volunteer work in the aged care industry, which I enjoy. But I just do not have any friends I am able to talk to. My family live a long way away, and I could never tell them anyway.

Although I am still unable to verbally speak about the rape, I can now write about it, and even think about it to some extent, without bringing on a panic attack. So that's progress. I hope that by discussing it further and by learning how other people cope with their PTSD symptoms, I can further desensitise myself from my traumatic memories.

Hence my decision to try an online forum. I look forward to responses from other people who have had similar experiences to myself. I am definitely more of a listener than a talker, so I hope that I may be able to be of assistance to others here as well.

Thankyou for taking the time to read my story.

2344 replies

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In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member Sherry the pea misses you :(. Are you okay? Miss my early morning friend :(xxxx

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member ❤💚❤💚❤💚

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

🌸🌺🌻🌼 @Former-Member 🌼🌻🌺🌸

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Where are you ?

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Hi I was wondering how you found your CBT treatment as my CBT treatment also involved Gross exposure therapy for a couple of sessions in a hospital then home back in when I found I was worse then several more stays and spasmodic Exposure therapy. I have found my life is way way worse now. Nightmares no self worth and just not wanting to go out. I have been told EMDR IS a good treatment but I will not try it after what has happened post the CBT. Have you tried or do you know someone who has had EMDR successfully. Regards Maxi7

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Really missing you @Former-Member Not the same here without you Hon. Sending you my love and hugs and hoping very much that you are doing as well as you can

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Thanks @Zoe7 @Shaz51 @Former-Member @Molliex @Gazza75 @Faith-and-Hope @Bunniekins @Maggie @outlander @BlueBay @Appleblossom @Owlunar @Peri @Starta @eth and anyone else I may have missed. Apologies in advance for a long post. I just need to get all this out ... its eating at me.

The Managers here have tried to reassure me but I'm just not feeling safe or secure right now. I feel that just one little mistake from me and I'll be in trouble. I feel very vulnerable and highly anxious .. even a little panicky.

Past experience (elsewhere) tells me that when I'm most in need of understanding and support ... when I'm in a bad way, as I am now ... that's when the pin gets pulled. That's when I get cut off from online support ... banned ... without explanation or warning, and no way back. No discussion entered into, no second chances given. A lifetime ban. Cruel, uncaring and highly negligent of them in my opinion. Definitely a distinct lack of due care on their part. Especially when I had given so much to that forum, as an official volunteer for a period of time. But I was cut off completely, and that included any contact with managers. My email was promptly added to the 'reject' list, phone calls ignored.

That's just how it happens ... right? For me, at another forum, that's exactly what happened. Why? Because I asked them to remove a post I'd made. You cannot edit posts on that forum, you have to request managers to make any changes or deletions. I was upset at the time and I'd inadvertently disclosed something personal. Upon my request to change or delete that post, I was promptly told I was making work for their staff and was banned on the spot. Clearly they were just waiting for any excuse to get rid of me. Not sure why, though I suspect, with me having worked behind the scenes, they were aware of how much I knew about how they operated and how unfair they were to many members.

At least Sane are different to that other forum where I was so badly let down. Here they try to help you through any difficulties, they consistently offer assistance. They try to reassure you, and they even seem to understand. So why do I feel so insecure? I guess the damage has already been done. My past experiences, and the horrible feelings and events associated with them, have stayed with me. That other forum definitely added more baggage to my already existing trauma's. I know I'm a little crazy, mixed up, maybe a bit too sensitive. I'm not a horrible person though, I care about people, I want to help others, and I always do my best to do the right thing. I know sometimes I get things wrong.

But right now ... I cannot get my head around the possibility of again being cut off from the only support I now know. When it happened last time, I was a complete mess for months afterwards. I was devastated, upset, angry, confused as to how and why it happened and indeed how it could be allowed to happen as it did. I had nobody to turn to then, nobody to talk to about what had happened. I was cut adrift and left to be tossed around in a turbulent sea. There were times I had no desire to even try to make it back from that. I made a stupid and clumsy attempt on my life, and ended up in hospital. I cannot let that happen again. I just can't .. it isn't me. I'm the sensible one. Aren't I? I always used to be anyhow. But now, I'm not so sure. I don't even know when that changed. Not sure I want to know really. Too much has happened. Way too much.

So I've not been posting much over the past month, and have had several longish breaks. But in so doing, I realise I'm only succeeding in isolating myself. I'm doing to myself, what they did to me. I'm depriving myself of the only support I have available to me right now, support which I badly need. But how do I go about feeling safe again? How do I reconnect with all the beautiful people here whom I value and respect so much? I really need you guys. So how can I reassure myself that this isn't all going to be taken away from me again? How do I ease this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, the erratic heavy beating heart and the uncontrolled shaking limbs. It happens every time I try to post. Simple fact is that I'm afraid to post. I'm afraid of doing something wrong, of providing an excuse to get rid of me. Any excuse will do.

I'm such a mess! My brain is reeling. I've been utilising the online chat services all last week. But I know they can offer only limited help. Cannot phone any help lines because when I'm like this I can't talk ... I choke, clam up, and no words get out. So I don't waste their time, or mine, by phoning. But it's reassuring to know they're there. I accept I have to do something more to help myself. But, I'm not sure where to start. My psych is away for the next couple of weeks, so I don't feel it would fair to phone or email her.

So that leaves me here ... what do I do? Should I even be here? I'm no good to anyone else right now. And I keep getting things wrong. Couldn't even post to a joke thread last week without stuffing up and getting that wrong too. The old PC ... how do you work around that minefield? I guess I'm used to always being wrong. Hubby's always telling me that too. Bless her, I think @Former-Member tried to make me feel better about my stuff-up last week by giving me a mention on the monthly wrap. Sweet gesture, but it clearly wasn't deserved. And to me, it only emphasised my error. This afternoon I logged on for the first time in 6 days, and have made a few posts to people I care about. But already I'm feeling like a cat on a hot tin roof ... worried I've said or done something wrong ... again. Just feeling so insecure right now. But I have to try because I'm not handling isolation or self exile at all well.

Sherry 💔

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member 🕊️

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member, you describe things so well, and I so relate to each sentence, and the anxiety fear of being rejected when you need it most (like when my friend died 3-4wks back), I too have learned to fly under the radar and not ask staff for help... Its hard when ya conditioned already that reaching out will only get our hands slapped. And why do we keep putting ourselves in harms way? 🤔 i donno

I've done the self imposed exile thing.. I make mistakes... I lack emotional control. when overwhelmed, then hate myself...peoole don't usually see it when we withdraw (for good reasons all round), it's personal, and we have a right to privacy too.


I've come back from 'excile' several times here (self imposed or orherwise), and would encourage you to do that too... its life..

Don't give up!. Lots of ppl seem to like you here. Be selective at first and don't forget the social threads where things are lighter.

Try not to read into things too much (especially when no responses come), just keep 'liking' - like you did yesterday...

I think its easier to forget people on forums where we have no visuals, so don't stay away too long. 48hrs is my self imposed limit to withdrawing, otherwise I go downhill too fast after that.

I think a 'FRESH START' is the only way to move Sherry... and living more in the present moment with interactions (which goes against all instinct I know), my bad memory forces me to be more present here.

Most people actually want to get along. We're just all a little broken... We need to be kind and compassionate with ourselves as well as others.

I'm so proud of you for sticking around, and for writing your post... really know how difficult that would have been.


Like with me, sane forums have become a lifeline... I don't think admin realises the huge responsibility that comes with that... we just need support

Having said that... Maybe we shouldn't keep "all our eggs in one basket" so to speak. 'm'moff to a grief support group this week... spread myself around more for balance.. for when one link goes afoot.....well... that's the plan, if I can just get going again lol

You. have to find a way to not care too - to have that inner strength that things will be ok... I get it sometimes... but it fades in and out.


I don't know Sherry, just keep trying, no matter what the weather is like.

We all get clumsy at times but most are well intended most the time.


I Betta shutup now sorry lol Does my head in trying to work it out sometimes lol


Stay strong xox
EOR 💕

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