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Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

I was raped a little over 20 years ago now. It was by someone I knew and trusted and it occurred in my own home. I was physically injured, concussed, ashamed, afraid, embarrassed - all the usual things.

I never reported it to the authorities and never spoke to anyone about it. I had never been a particularly social person, but afterwards I isolated myself completely other than heading off to work dutifully each day.

After 18 years of almost constant battles with anxiety, flashbacks, nightmares, triggers, etc, I finally sought help from a psychologist. Initially it was for pain management as I suffered a severe back injury about 2 years after the rape. So after almost 2 years of occasional appointments I finally told her during a particularly difficult time (anniversary) what had happened all those years ago.

So early last year I was officially diagnosed with PTSD. On my clinical psychologists advice I have undergone a series of Exposure Therapy and CBT last year. It was a long, arduous and extremely difficult process. However, it did help to some degree.

However the nightmares, anxiety symptoms, etc continued. This was probably made worse as last year was an extremely difficult one for me all round. My little 11yo niece was killed in a car accident, my brother seriously and permanently injured, I was retrenched from my job when the business was sold, and I found out that my husband was cheating on me again. So I guess none of that helped.

And then on 29th February this year it was the 20th anniversary of my trauma. It seemed to hit me even harder than usual, I dont know why. There just seemed to be triggering events around every corner, it was awful. I struggled very badly.

My psychologist decided to try EMDR treatment once things settled down a bit. She felt it would help with the emotional content of my traumatic memories. So between April and early September this year, I have undergone 10 2xhour EMDR sessions. I am now on a break to see how things are now.

But in the meantime she wants me to talk to people about what happened, as it is an important part of the recovery process she says. However I find this really hard as I do not have any friends (my hubby is a narsissist according to my psychologist). I have become very isolated other than for my part-time work which I was lucky enough to find in January. I do some volunteer work in the aged care industry, which I enjoy. But I just do not have any friends I am able to talk to. My family live a long way away, and I could never tell them anyway.

Although I am still unable to verbally speak about the rape, I can now write about it, and even think about it to some extent, without bringing on a panic attack. So that's progress. I hope that by discussing it further and by learning how other people cope with their PTSD symptoms, I can further desensitise myself from my traumatic memories.

Hence my decision to try an online forum. I look forward to responses from other people who have had similar experiences to myself. I am definitely more of a listener than a talker, so I hope that I may be able to be of assistance to others here as well.

Thankyou for taking the time to read my story.

2344 replies

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In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Thinking of you @Former-Member ❤️

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member im hoping you managed abit of sleep and are safely travelling home now. im glad things are happening more for your mum now too, i hope it brings a little bit of peace to your mind knowing your mum will be better looked after

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Thanks @outlander . Snatches of sleep through the morning. Yes on the train and heading home now. Very limited internet.

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Dear @Former-Member

you will be home by now and I hope that you are all right. Everything with your dear mother sounds so distressing. But cleaning up her room and painting it, what a loving thing to do. It must be so worrying, being so far away and not able to pop in on your parents.

I hope that your husband coped ok. I am sure he was pleased to see you home and your little dog.

mine are on the bed with me as I have a coffee and contemplate the day.

i am thinking of you

peri

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

I guess not. 😢

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Hi @Former-Member, I am really concerned about you, I hope you are managing and your husband is being kind.
Peri

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

My dear @Peri. Thanks so much for your concern, though I am sorry I have been the cause of concern to you. My apologies for not posting to my thread here since my return home a little over a week ago. In truth I have been taking a bit of a breather, and have kind of isolated myself a bit for the time being. Been so much happening, and so much to deal with for my Mum. I was feeling pretty overwhelmed by it all. Although I did post a brief update on another thread last week, not everyone here would have read it. But in short ... I am okay, and thanks for caring enough to ask.

Hi also to @Former-Member, and thanks so much for your caring posts, both here and elsewhere. As well as others here, including @outlander @BlueBay @Shaz51 @Owlunar @Appleblossom @Former-Member @CheerBear.

@Zoe7, I know you are rarely around for the time being, but I'm hoping you will feel able to return soon. My kindest thoughts are with you in the meantime.


@Faith-and-HopeI believe you are due home soon. It will be so nice to have you back here again, you have been missed so much over the past few weeks.

In brief, yes I got home okay last Monday night. Managed to get through my city overnighter, tough though it was. I guess I was feeling pretty vulnerable all round at that stage. Little Holly was very excited to see me when I got home. And I think hubby was too. Hubby coped reasonably well in my absence, and his health pretty much held in the time I was away. Unfortunately the past couple of days he has been getting quite severe headaches again, so I have tried to get him in to see his GP to talk about what may be happening and what needs to change. Its possible he may be able to bring forward his specialist appointment, which is currently not until September. I dont know, it may just be the ever fluctuating auto-immune encephalitis reminding us its still around. My hubby has been very much up and down when it comes to being kind and understanding with me. Sometimes he is, other times he gets angry at the time I spend talking to my parents and negotiating with respite care people to get her into care. He seems to resent any time I spend on things other than him. But I guess I have come to expect that now. At least he has, so far, not been violent.

My Mum spent a week in hospital, having gone in the day after I arrived down there. Thankfully a short term respite position materialised last Tuesday and between my brother and myself, we managed to convince her to go into respite for a week or two. Hoping it will be enough to regain some strength, and to allow her kidney infection to clear up a little. It also allowed the skin excoriation she had when she was put into hospital to heal a little. Now that all thats done, she is to be permitted to go home today. Daily personal care will happen from tomorrow, along with delivery of daily meals for both her and my Dad. So at least I know now that they have the care they need at home. Its possible that Mums health deterioration will not permit her to be home for very long, but she will be happy to be home for as long as possible before she needs permanant care in a nursing home. The pulmonary fibrosis, although only recently diagnosed, is past the early stages and is in fact moderate. With her other health issues, the prognosis is not good at all. At least I had a good chance to speak to her GP when I took her there. After discussions with Mum over the week I was there, she has decided not to have the biopsy that the cancer specialist was pushing her to have. She told me that she really doesnt want to know, because she does not want any anti-cancer treatment anyway.

I have been feeling very down and flat since my return, and hence the reason I have not been around much since I got back. I see my psych on Thursday, so will try to lift myself a bit before then.

Sherry 💕

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Dear @Former-Member

thank you so much for posting and letting us know how you are and how things are progressing for your beloved parents.

I am glad your husband coped and is being okish since your return.

But I do worry about who is being kind to you?

i am sure holly gives you lots of love. Mine do for me. They are on the bed with me as I drink coffee and ponder the day.

i completely understand taking a break. At times it is all too much and to post here as well is another task at those times.

i have not been posting myself, but I am not sure why, I think my crap is too dull to bother others with.

I have to clean my house today, I am not excited about that, but will be ok once I get going.

my dogs are fickle they seem to have wandered off to inspect something outside and have left sand over my bed. Ah well

please take care of yourself

peri

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Thinking of you lots @Former-Member and sending my love ❤

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Hi @Former-Member I can hear how things have been tough for you. It’s diffucukt trying to care for your husband as well as organise things for your parents health and well-being. It’s stressful.

And not living close to your parents would be difficult.

sending you love and hugs ❤️❤️

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