Living with BPD

@JASONHENDERSON, that's a complicated situation. I can't give you any advice as you are in the driver's seat and none know it better that you. I can only say I wish you well with it and hope it works out well, also with your health.Take care.

It's very hard to say without witnessing the situation first hand although I know how you feel here. Strongly. The most logical scenario is she's messaging her friend to keep her options open in my opinion you need to call her bluff you need to show her that if she wants you to move out it's ok with you and if that's how she feels then that's what will happen but you need to let her know there will be no paying off the mortgage while I'm not living there you need to let her know that you as an option will be gone along with what money you bring. Things have probably gotten stale and bored and she is looking for a better deal. Please take this with a pinch of salt as I do not know the scenario. With being diagnosed with BPD that's a tough one I kind of got diagnosed with BPD it makes a lot of sense but doesn't give any answers. Anyway best of luck

Sounds like if you leave, you should be only paying legal child support and she can figure out her own accomodation costs within whatever she is legally entitled to and/or earning.

@JASONHENDERSON

Growing up without a daddy, I do not approve of women who try for more than one sugar daddyoh ... they make it harder for all the other women.... like me.

Get legal advice and make some informed decisions.

Be there is some way for your son.

Hi @JASONHENDERSON ,

Welcome to the forums. I'm sorry to hear of your situation.

I have no idea about relationshiop advice, but regarding the BPD, I was wondering if you have professional support? E.g. a trusted GP, counsellor, psychologist or psychiatrist?

I'm also going to tag @BPDSurvivor who has great insight into BPD. 🙂

I'm also concerned that you might have used your real name as your username...this is not permitted, as our anonymity allows us to write honestly about our mental health concerns and keeps us (you) safe. If you want to email the team to change your username, you can email team@saneforums.org.

A handy forum tip is if you type @ and click on a name in the drop-down box, that person will get a notification and won't miss your reply.

You can also type any subject into the search bar above to find threads on that topic.

I hope you enjoy exploring the forums.

I got diagnosed with BPD a few years ago, and as everyone states, it makes sense but are left with "so what now?"

I know that relationships have never been good for me, (a BPD trait) they always end in disaster and now at 57 choose to live with four legged animals only, which except me just as I am - no matter how I think or feel (the only two emotions I have Haha!) A social worker once said to me that " you must look after yourself first and foremost - everyone else can look after themselves. If they were meant to be in your life they will love you the way you are."

So to explain what I am trying to say is that do what is best from you. As much as you love others looking after yourself actually shows them that you are worthy and not willing to put up with cheating games. I hope my chatter helps. Take care.

Hi there friend,

I have BPD too. I am no medical expert but, I think the best thing you can do is to hang tight and have a bit of a breather. As you say, relationships can be difficult with BPD and that means work relationships too. For what it's worth, I find it very difficult holding onto a job, let alone a relationship and at present you have the pressure of losing both of these. I say both because if you lose your personal relationship, it will inevitably have a knock on affect at work.

If I was in your shoes I would move into the spare bedroom for a while if you have one. It is not ideal because you love your wife but, it will give you space, keep an affordable roof over your head and keep your son reassured for the time being. Then I would make an appointment with your GP and start making roads for some supports. The supports will help you and in time be a positive in this situation, so much so it might help you to deal with what lies ahead rather dealing with it whilst you're under pain and threat.

I really wish you well. You are not in a good place but, you have made a start by coming on here!