Son on sub acute admission - not coping

Hello @Tinker67 ,

I've read through your post and I can see how frustrating it can be when someone reaches out for help and doesn't get it. I acknowledge not only the strength of your son, but also you in reaching out for support.

From experience, when I have been an inpatient, the staff were absolutely under the pump. As much as they wanted to 'help' everyone, there was very little 'help' from the staff themselves. They mainly saw to the physical welfare of their patients.

One thing they did offer, however, was peer support. In a recovery centre I was in, peer support workers regularly visited the unit. In the acute wards, when I requested to speak to a peer worker, it was arranged, and they offered a lot of support. I think you will have more success this way.

Another option is to access external services such as the peer services SANE offers here - phone and webchat. Alternatively, SANE's counselling services .

All the best. Looking forward to hearing how you go.

tyme

There's two elements to this. Mental health well-being and relationship well-being.

Demographically I'd suggest suggesting:

Mensline for man issues - https://mensline.org.au/

and HeadSpace for youth oriented mental health - https://headspace.org.au/

(HeadSpace also seem to have some youth oriented break up advice.)

Hi @Tinker67

I thought I’d share a resource that I know about which might give more support to the situation around care in the hospital.

In NSW there is an advocacy program called the Official visitor program where you can contact them as an independent body for any complaints or feedback about the care you or your loved one is receiving while in hospital. This might be worth exploring if you meet some challenges through the service itself.

For NSW they have the phone contact details / or feedback letterboxes in the mental health units so you can ask staff for them if they are not easily found.

I think there would be similar or same in other states. However I have been told that other states - they may not always be independent of the health system.

Hoping healing & support on your son’s journey & hope you can also find support for yourself being a care giver.

Flybluebird 💛

Hi @Tinker67 ,

I was passing through and popped by to check-in with you. How are you? How's your boy?

Thinking of you,

tyme

Hello @tyme

Thank you for checking in. He's been in the sub acute clinic for over 2 weeks now, due to be discharged Wed next week. They've changed his anti psychosis meds completely, and added a new anti anxiety med. He has been a bit more communicative than he's been in years when we've visited, which has been hopeful. But tonight when we called he looked flat and sad, he said he's home sick, I let him know I'd call the staff and let them know which he agreed to. The nurse who is on tonight is so lovely and she said she'd go chat to him and keep a check on him tonight. She let me know that his new friends who he met at the clinic were discharged today, which is contributing to him feeling more lonesome. He hasn't been away from home so long before without us, it's a lot for him to manage. He's had some issues with managing his anger as he's changed across meds, and also some self harming behaviour which he told us about. Again, he hadn't told staff so we let them know. We're talking to his psychiatrist before discharge to plan his care so I hope we are able to get him home and help him transition to home without it destabilising him. Fingers crossed. 🙂

Hello @Tinker67 ,

I so glad to hear back from you 🙂 Your post has been on my mind for a while now.

I can only imagine how hard it is for your son to be away from you. His med is probably helping him to be more away of what is happening. It sounds like he is in a good place and now it is about riding out the wave.

As I mentioned early, many MH staff DO genuinely want to support their clients. They are just so run-off their feet sometimes. I'm so relieved to hear a nurse will be having a chat to him. Hopefully it will help.

As a parent, I admire your ability to hold on. This must be the one of the longest two weeks you have had! Please remember carers also need care. What self-care will help you tonight?

tyme

Bless @tyme

I have been so pleased with the staff I have met at the sub acute clinic, they have been warm and caring, and one of the nurses even shared their own lived experience of caring for family with schizophrenia, so that has been reassuring. When I have called to report concerns, they have taken it seriously and acted on it immediately. My son is a bit frustrated that everything he talks about is recorded, but I understand that, as a human service professional myself who also records case notes, that it is about continuity of care as much as it is about covering themselves.

I have actually been letting myself take a back seat while he's been in the clinic. For the first week I took a week's holiday at the coast with our younger son. That allowed us some time to have fun, connect, and for me to check in with how he is going. He's had his own health challenges in the past year, with chronic fatigue for 8 months last year following an adverse reaction to his allergy desensitisation treatment. We had a lovely time together.

I realised last night, after talking with our oldest boy and seeing him feeling sad and home sick, that I 'picked up' my bundle of worry again for him and I can feel it there. It's like a tension that I hold, and the weight is a bit much at times. I agree fully with you, we have to ride out the wave, and I have to hold onto hope and continue to reach out for help with him when he needs it, because he doesn't have capacity to do it.

One of the things that saddens me is that he doesn't have the spark he once had, I hope it will return, he has so much to deal with and it's cruel to see. When he's feeling a bit better, I will take him for a break or a holiday somewhere he enjoys.

Thank you for your care, and for sharing your knowledge and experience. It is much appreciated.

Tinker

Dear @Tinker67 ,

It's great to be able to pop in to check in with you and see where things are at. Thank you for the update.

It melted by heart to know things are looking better for your son. It was also great to read of that little break you had with your other son.

Remember, you are always welcome to share your 'little bundle of worry' here (if it helps).

We are a community that cares,

tyme

Hello my @Tinker67 ,

How are you, and how is your dear son going?

I remember you were saying you would be spending some time away with one of your sons, and then the other.

I hope your son is travelling okay.

I'm here if you need anything,

tyme