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Dealing with a family member with depression and mood swings

Fluttershy1Senior Contributor23 Jan 2022, 6:47 pm AEDT

Dealing with a family member with depression and mood swings

Heyhey,

im new to this side of forums but as most of you know I’m over the lived experience side, I have a family member that has a mental health issue which is quite overwhelming for me and I’m stuck on what to do because I live with them and care for them and they don’t seem to appreciate it. It just upsets me more when they get angry at me for no reason and like I try to help them but they don’t let me.

5 replies

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In response to: Dealing with a family member with depression and mood swings

HerewegoroundContributor23 Jan 2022, 7:08 pm AEDT

Re: Dealing with a family member with depression and mood swings

I hear you it’s a very difficult thing to not feel appreciated. You have every right to be upset ,it’s hard not to be . Even when our brain knows they have a problem and they probably don’t mean to hurt us the body reacts differently. I know with my daughters mood swings, they are killing me but I actually know she loves me and needs me more than I need her. I have no answers. I can only give you my support and let you know I’m with you.

In response to: Dealing with a family member with depression and mood swings

wellwellwellnezSenior Contributor23 Jan 2022, 9:28 pm AEDT

Re: Dealing with a family member with depression and mood swings

Sometimes having our own struggles makes it easier to manage other people's struggles. Sometimes it make us more vulnerable. I have a family complex that's a bit of both really.

Best advice from my experience is to try and address with mutual compassion when the dials on "1". It's sooooo much harder, when things go up to "11". If you compare moods to Spinal Tap amplifiers, which seems about right.

In response to: Dealing with a family member with depression and mood swings

Unknown userMember25 Jan 2022, 10:58 am AEDT

Re: Dealing with a family member with depression and mood swings

It can be really hard living in this dual role @Fluttershy1 of having our own issues but also looking after someone else. It can feel like a lot.

And I also totally recognise how frustrating it can feel when when we feel unappreciated or like we are talking to a brick wall.

Great starting point for me has been recognising that I cant 'save' or 'rescue' anyone so I need some boundaries about what I will do to help and what I will and will not tolerate. This can help ease the feelings of being overwhelmed, in my experience.

- periwinklepixie

In response to: Re: Dealing with a family member with depression and mood swings

Fluttershy1Senior Contributor25 Jan 2022, 12:39 pm AEDT

Re: Dealing with a family member with depression and mood swings

But it sometimes feels hard @Former-Member, she just gets mad and takes it out on me and then it upsets me, do you have anything that could help?

In response to: Re: Dealing with a family member with depression and mood swings

Unknown userMember25 Jan 2022, 12:48 pm AEDT

Re: Dealing with a family member with depression and mood swings

Some really great advice someone once gave me is that 'just because someone gets upset at our boundaries doesn't mean our boundaries were wrong' @Fluttershy1

As hard as it is when someone gets upset at us I think sometimes we need to stick our ground.

It sounds like you might need to prioritise looking after yourself. As they say, 'you can't pour from an empty cup'. I've had to learn that the hard way as I give so much to others and then realise too late I'm really struggling.

Hope that helps some!
- periwinklepixie

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