Need meds but too scared

@Cherub. I just replied to your other post re:memory loss.
It must be scary for you thinking about the side effects you had last time you went on medication. Was the medication just for depression?
I found the first 2 weeks I was put on AD's a bit hard. I felt dizzy and out of sorts, but after that it helped.
Was your medication prescribed by a gp or bya ppsychiatrist? Maybe a psychiatrist can come up with a different medication this time.
You did say though, that you took your medication for over 10 years. Did it alleviate a lot of your symptoms?
I find a combination of my medication along with seeing a psychologist really helpful. I had a rough time earlier this year and am starting to feel like I'm living again.
Maybe speak to your gp about a referral. You can explain your fears around medication. There may be alternatives such as talking therapy.
You deserve to feel better. Please don't let this fear stop you from seeking help

Hi @Cherub
Medication can make a big difference to how you're feeling. New meds are being developed all the time and there's plenty to choose from these days.

I have been taking medications for the last 60 years or so and I've been taking medications for mental illness for the last 26 years. These meds have given me a good life and I'll happily take them forever.

Not all medications have bad side effects. It really is a matter of trial and error for a while until your doctor finds the best one for you. Have you seen a psychiatrist who can help you with this? It's also a good idea to see your GP and ask for a mental health plan so you can see a psychologist on Medicare. A psychologist will help you work through these black feelings you are experiencing and may also help you find ways to eat in a healthy way and to suggest other ways you can change your lifestyle so that your physical and mental health can improve a bit.

It's really great to see you posting. Do keep talking to us so that you can help us and we can help you in whatever way we can.
Take care 🎶💕

Thanks for your replies. I haven't seen a psychiatrist, only my gp and psychologist. It gets fairly expensive though and I don't go as often as I should. I also don't seem to make any progress and it often feels like a waste of time and money.
I have some of my old medication in the cupboard, which I think worked to some degree although I don't think I was ever completely symptom free. Although at least I could get out and enjoy myself.
My gp has suggested a couple of different ones to try but I'm really too scared to. On the other hand, I really don't want to continue like this. I miss being able to relax and have fun. Everywhere I go, I'm tense and anxious and just want to run home again. I can't even go for a nice long walk (which I used to love) because I keep just wanting to be home and I get really dizzy until I get home.
I am looking into some lifestyle changes that may help such as, relaxation, cutting out sugar, massage, spending more time taking care of me.

@Cherub. It's so good to hear that you plan to start looking after yourself. It's so important that we don't forget to treat ourselves kindly.
A massage. A bubble bath. Relaxation exercises done daily. All of that will help you to feel better.
Is there a friend who you could go for a walk with. I know when my anxiety was up - I needed the support of my best friend or my family. It kept my mind bisy talking with them - so my anxiety Was not as strong.
As regards to taking medication or not. Why don't you draw up a pros and cons list. Write down what you fear in the cons. Write down what you used to be able to do when medicated. Then you and your psychologist or gp can look at this list and work out what's best for you.

Hi @Cherub
If I were in your position feeling as you do at the moment I would try medication again. It's not much fun when you feel so awful that you can't get out and enjoy yourself the way you did on meds.

I would certainly be going back to the GP and discussing about different meds that may give you less or even no side effects. @utopia 's suggestion of a pros and cons list is a brilliant idea and should help you and the GP heaps. You could also list the side effects that you previously experienced so the GP can consider newer meds that may be less likely to make you feel yuk.

Self care is important. It's not something that I do very well but I know that when I do remember it makes a difference.

Do take care and try to make an appointment sooner rather than later. 🎵🎶

How are you doing today @Cherub? I thought I'd just touch base with you today.

Thank you. Still have not gone down the meds path. Interestingly, I went to my osteopath the other day, whom I have not seen for a few months. She told me the soft tissues in my neck were like concrete and that because I was so tight I could not have proper circulation or drainage. This can lead to dizziness and brain fog and even anxiety. I found it difficult to relax at all during the treatment because I was so tightly wound. She also manipulated my rib because they were locked, and would you believe it I could suddenly take a full deep breath for the first time in weeks/months! Perhaps partly compounded by this awful flu with weeks of coughing, perhaps tension from anxiety. I can't tell you how good that felt!
Three days post treatment and I'm not perfectly back to normal but I am significantly better, enough to make me feel more confident and happy. I'm no where near as dizzy - I can walk down stairs without hanging onto the rail and I can walk the dog without feeling like I need to hang onto something. Driving is also better, I tend to get dizzy when the car stops but that has eased also. And best of all I can think clearer and don't feel quite so drugged and spacey. Very keen to go back for another appointment but it's not for a couple of weeks.

@Cherub. That's great news. It must feel great to have some relief. Don't forget to also get your ears checked at the gp. In the past I used to get middle ear infections and they can cause dizziness. Could be likely after having the flu. See how you go.
But glad your mood has lifted.