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What to do

Unknown userMember11 Jan 2022, 7:34 pm AEDT

What to do

Hi all reading, I just want to vent and get a perspective of what I should do… cause at the end I guess I just want somebody to blame shall something go wrong lol. I know I have MH issues but with things going sour in my life at the moment I just want to know would you want to retaliate?…. I’m stuck with the option of taking it as meh life throws sh*t at you or would you want to fight, rhetoric, at the things not going right. I want a job and happiness but to get to that I have to face these dilemmas. I’ve figured out recently I’m an empath which has its own debacles but I’m thinking of reigniting a lost flame “the boys” gets at me and has me thinking it could fix the bullying woes but I guess I should handle these things myself I’ve found out that standing up for myself is tiring, but does that mean I’ll survive with “the boys”. The last year I’ve been doing it on my own and when without them I feel too many problems have come my way, but there are problems when I’m with them too - which has me thinking I’m not built that way, cause I want to fight the good fight, but most of “the boys” are contempt on being bad which gets me doing things I don’t want to do. So the question here for anyone with life experience is which road do I take? Do I go down the road with bullying where I get tired fighting for myself or choose to empower myself with “the boys” where I’ll probably keep doing stuff I don’t want to do. Being an empath I absorb other peoples energy which is difficult in quick making decisions. Sometimes I seem too vulnerable and easily manipulated but I pick up on these things. I think I need the support of the community with previous experience in what would be the right decision to make. I know “the boys” will have my back in these situations but weighting up the options of whether it’s too much for my mental health vs. being bullied by nerds so to say is worth anything… I’m feeling I have to stand up for myself and love myself more is an option at this point. Why is making a decision so hard? Maybe cause it’ll impact my life for the next couple of years…. I dunno, I wish I could see the future and that’ll help me make the decisions I need to make, being young was easy now adulting has amplified the complexity of my situation. What are your thoughts? I don’t know what or how much I can handle, but a lot by me still being here after much abuse

18 replies

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In response to: What to do

wellwellwellnezSenior Contributor12 Jan 2022, 2:50 pm AEDT

Re: What to do

I love empath awareness stuff. Just love it. It's so comforting in a world that where so many people don't want to talk about it. And, in my experience, having a vibe antenna can seriously lead to thought stacking. Oh boy boy how it can do that thing.

Can I share something I might of already shared because it was really helpful for sorting the thought and emotions. There's an official 3 kinds of empathy in the empathy textbook.

Affective/Emotional - The body language and rituals of it all. The songs and the dances. The buzz.

Cognitive - Including lived experience, education, the third eye, modelling, etc.

Compassionate - Making real-world differences. Or where concern meets action.

When people talk about empathy, they're usually thinking of their favourite kind from that list. But each one needs to draw upon the other ones to be all actualized and stuff. My main empathy is probably cognitive. I like to understand my feelings and be informed when I take actions. But if the whole world was all like me there'd be too much impersonal consternation going on.

When it comes to personal and social balance, the empathy triangle is a light-shiner.

In response to: What to do

Lou2uContributor12 Jan 2022, 8:42 pm AEDT

Re: What to do

@Itsjustme that sounds great each days like a new life a new beginning the gift is when your awake and aware enough you get to find yourself a little bit more each day!

Keep going keep being curious your worth it! 🙂

In response to: Re: What to do

Unknown userMember12 Jan 2022, 9:56 pm AEDT

Re: What to do

@wellwellwellnez I listened to empaths survival guide on audible, and found different ways of healing and taking in energy from outside sources to their interpretation of the types of empaths, psychical, emotional, cognitive, spiritual, animal empaths, etc. and how toxic/narcissistic people and energy vampires can have a toll on empaths.

what the best jobs are so you don’t get too emotionally stimulated etc. all in all that opened my eyes to different perspectives of life, more than just what I learnt at school and shows how the world is evolving.

I think I’m a physical/emotional empath, a hybrid lol. By answering the questions Judith orloff asked about whether you’re an emotional or physical and being honest with myself that’s the conclusion I got.

youtubes got its own take on empaths too. Like super empath, etc which is effective against a narcissist. Tbh I like all the psychology stuff have always been fascinated by the human brain and how it’s works

In response to: Re: What to do

MDTSenior Contributor12 Jan 2022, 10:22 pm AEDT

Re: What to do

Hey @Former-Member
Just wondering - hows your side of the fence when it comes to dating and such ?

In response to: Re: What to do

Unknown userMember13 Jan 2022, 9:12 am AEDT

Re: What to do

You’ve asked me before @MDT , twice I believe we’ve had the conversation lol

In response to: Re: What to do

MDTSenior Contributor13 Jan 2022, 9:26 am AEDT

Re: What to do

Hmm. Apologies I don't recall it. My memory can sometimes get hazy with my MH
Didn't wanna sound like I was intruding @Former-Member

Have a good day

In response to: Re: What to do

MDTSenior Contributor13 Jan 2022, 9:50 am AEDT

Re: What to do

If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,

Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,

And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;

If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

And treat those two impostors just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken

Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

To serve your turn long after they are gone,

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,

Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,

If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,

Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,

And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

If - Rudyard Kipling

In response to: Re: What to do

Unknown userMember13 Jan 2022, 10:20 am AEDT

Re: What to do

All good @MDT @I have slight memory issues too - but I’ve gathered I can remember what I need to but just don’t explain myself well, that’s probably from trying to explain things in a way all can understand, something I was taught to do… but I think most people understand when I speak which is nice

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