Everything music

@TABs in another time and place

@TAB you are making me smile again mr libra. it is the year of the dragon. im a dragon is meant to be a good year for me. i hope so. what chinese zodiac sign are you again?

I learnt a fear of intimacy and also happiness from social interaction from a very early age. sure my mother was abused as a child, etc then people get all churchy and mess the next generation up , re kids conv tonite w @Former-Member , @Bunniekins as in i grew up feeling weird and not understanding social contact let alone relationships took me into my 30s before got better at pretending I was relationship material lol

then all self medication, self doubt, nagging parents etc etc .................jeee ez

@TABs you are not alone. i had a abusive father. he was an alcoholic who would throw glasses of wine at me and force me at a young age to smoke ciggies. when i was 15 i would date older men seaching for a father figure only to be used. he has been dead 30 years now and it was a blessing. i am always here for you to lean on.

I had not heard this song in a long time @Bunniekins

thank you

@TAB brb

my father had PTSD from the war, had nightmares every night, abused my mother entire married life thru verbal abuse and financial control

never spoke to us , well used to be he happy at breakfast table when younger he would take me to work on farm from early age , riding on tractors and implements, I even used to unload sacks of seed from truck to combine and empty them, also help slaughter sheep , well killing bit was watching mainly .. ie 'blooding' me .. then once the skin was off, it was just .. meat , had to throw guts outside of shearing shed where used to happen, there was the one pen where floor slats were caked in dried blood and skins used to hang on pen fences to dry before selling. so i had to carry still warm lungs to hang up on a nail in shed out of reach to dry out for dog food, then i graduated to taking head to stump near milking shed and splitting old sheepies scone open with its stupid eyes still looking at me, remind me of my Grandmas eyes as in not seeing and bulging lolol and them scoop brain out . was actually yum but couple times was under cooked and ffs no o o then we never ate braisn again , well moved to town, so got meat from butcher

anyway.. turns out older brother refused to do this , hence me becoming slaughter-boy.. , i never questioned that or thought i could not just do what told ... lol @Bunniekins

@TAB

Mazzy will always be in my fave list. Never grows old. ❤️

😂 @TAB

reminds me of a long long time ago, when I worked in professional office environment- with my Motörhead t-shirt on.

with a pretty skirt I made it work! 😂😉

@TABs geee TABs i dont know what to say except i am so sorry you had to deal with that as a child. your words are so graphic like it happened to you yesterday. it was just so wrong. this might give you a bitter laugh. when i was 2 my parents took me to a bbq where there was a pig on a spit apparently i screamed and cried so much over the dead pig they had to leave. killed the atmosphere.