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Something’s not right

Starting to struggle

Fluttershy1Senior Contributor

Starting to struggle

I was doing so well, my moods where manageable and now I feel like I'm losing control my anxiety is bad my flashbacks are more present, family are causing lots of stress and controlling me I don't know what to do, it all feels really to overwhelming.

I feel like my whole world is falling apart, my stress levels are high, my moods are always fluctuating, I have random anger outbursts, I'm isolating myself from nearly everyone.

My dad hasn't even really contacted me, I'm really upset, I feel like he doesn't care or even wants to give me a call to see how I am. His wife is really controlling and she tends to judge me. They want me to go to Christmas with them and I don't even want to see them.

I find this time of year is triggering.

Am safe

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In response to: Starting to struggle

JynxModerator

Re: Starting to struggle

@Fluttershy1 Maybe in some ways you are. But recognising that means that there is still part of you that is hopeful - the part that wishes for something different. I hope you are able to move out ASAP then!

In response to: Re: Starting to struggle

Fluttershy1Senior Contributor

Re: Starting to struggle

Yeah, got all me teddys in bed with me and I'm colouring in @Jynx - what's Your fave colour?

In response to: Re: Starting to struggle

JynxModerator

Re: Starting to struggle

Has always been purple @Fluttershy1 although lately also been leaning into teal and jade green ❤️

In response to: Re: Starting to struggle

Fluttershy1Senior Contributor

Re: Starting to struggle

Ok I'll add them colours into my mandala @Jynx,

Feeling sensory overload, I'm anxious

In response to: Re: Starting to struggle

JynxModerator

Re: Starting to struggle

Aww beautiful @Fluttershy1

Focusing on the colours is a good idea.

Can you move to a more quiet space, or put on some music you like? Even a white noise to play in the background often helps me.

In response to: Re: Starting to struggle

Fluttershy1Senior Contributor

Re: Starting to struggle

I'll listen to music @Jynx, got my iPad out still haven't made dinner

In response to: Starting to struggle

Unknown userMember

Re: Starting to struggle

I hope you are doing ok @Fluttershy1
Your support coordinator and support worker both sound wonderful! They must be really helpful for you! I understand how hard family issues are, I've had to live with family dysfunction for years. Thankfully I'm in a safe independent living situation, but my God, let's please not get started with the family issues... Thanks.
I think supported care living may be a great idea for you, I hope it works out! At the end of the day you need to do what works for you, you know? I'm sorry you get blamed for a lot of crap. Really sorry to hear of it!
Xxx I hope things get better for you and I hope you stay safe and well!

In response to: Starting to struggle

Unknown userMember

Re: Starting to struggle

@Jynx I've been living alone for years and it comes with great responsibility. I think responsibilities are good though. On a good day I feel strong and able to cope with my own home environment. On a bad day I get support people to take over and that way I can rest. Responsibility for your own living situation shows that you can somehow make it in this harsh world even though at times, it sure doesn't feel to be the case.
I had to remove myself from a crappy situation almost ten years ago so I've vowed to never live in the same home as other people again. I happy to be near some people, but not to live with them.

In response to: Re: Starting to struggle

JynxModerator

Re: Starting to struggle

Sounds like you have found some good balance @Former-Member - and that you're able to recognise when you need support. That is a very important skill!

Yeah too many relationships have fallen apart due to share housing situations going very wrong. Too much trauma. Living alone has been the best decision I've made in a long time. Glad you've found what works for you as well

In response to: Re: Starting to struggle

Fluttershy1Senior Contributor

Re: Starting to struggle

Hey @Jynx - I'm feeling disassociated so I don't know who I am atm, feeling really upset. Flashbacks and all. Am safe

Hey @Former-Member.
Yeah they are really wonderful people they help me a lot and understand me and are willing to stick by my side at my worst, I've had truama history and it isn't easy, have other MH conditions that I still struggle with but I somehow manage to cope. I'm sorta hoping I get my own little house because I will have my own space and be able to have my own life and be able to manage it without being controlled.

am safe

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