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Something’s not right

Starting to struggle

Starting to struggle

I was doing so well, my moods where manageable and now I feel like I'm losing control my anxiety is bad my flashbacks are more present, family are causing lots of stress and controlling me I don't know what to do, it all feels really to overwhelming.

I feel like my whole world is falling apart, my stress levels are high, my moods are always fluctuating, I have random anger outbursts, I'm isolating myself from nearly everyone.

My dad hasn't even really contacted me, I'm really upset, I feel like he doesn't care or even wants to give me a call to see how I am. His wife is really controlling and she tends to judge me. They want me to go to Christmas with them and I don't even want to see them.

I find this time of year is triggering.

Am safe

1106 replies

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In response to: Starting to struggle

Re: Starting to struggle

Hi @BPDSurvivor @Judi9877 @Jynx - finding today hard, my dad and his wife didn't talk to me on Christmas nor gave me anything, they blame me for not contacting them and it stresses me out and makes me feel bad about myself. I just feel so alone. I feel like I'm just being used. They just really upset me

In response to: Re: Starting to struggle

Re: Starting to struggle

@Fluttershy1 aww that is so rough! Sounds like you wanted to be able to create some meaningful memories with them but were unable to do so. You definitely don't deserve to feel used.

I'll keep you company this afternoon if you like. I'm going to put up some memes later too. Here beside you

In response to: Re: Starting to struggle

Re: Starting to struggle

I would like that @Jynx - not having a good day

In response to: Re: Starting to struggle

Re: Starting to struggle

You're too kind @Jynx .

@Fluttershy1 , I'm sorry you feel this way. I wish I could make the unpleasantness disappear, but I can't. Can you think of anything by which you can help yourself this afternoon? It's sunny on my side - if on yours too, how about a walk?

In response to: Re: Starting to struggle

Re: Starting to struggle

I just wanna hide @BPDSurvivor

In response to: Re: Starting to struggle

Re: Starting to struggle

Oh @Fluttershy1 , I should also mention, I'm indulging in toblerone chocolate and reading a psych thriller... I feel so lazy today after a hectic few days. But you know what? Meh? We're all allowed to have lazy days.

If it's one of your lazy days - allow yourself.

if it one of your down days - allow yourself

if it's one of your angry days - allow yourself

if it's one of your i-can't-be-bothered days - allow yourself.

Allowing yourself to feel does not make you a bad or unworthy person.

Hugs,

BPDSurvivor

In response to: Re: Starting to struggle

Re: Starting to struggle

Back at you @BPDSurvivor

Kitty!! @Fluttershy1 I hope some pats wif da cat is helping. A walk could be super helpful, I do that all the time when I'm feeling upset or yuck. Mindfulness is easier when you've got changing scenery to look at and pay attention to. Sometimes I give myself a little task like 'find the prettiest flower' or 'see how many red cars I can spot' because it helps me stay focused on the present.

In response to: Re: Starting to struggle

Re: Starting to struggle

@Fluttershy1 ,

Allow yourself to feel like hiding. That's not wrong either. Because I know if I tell you not to hide, it'll make you want to hide even more.

I remember all those days I wanted to hide. I ended up hiding under my waited blanket until things shifted - and you know what? They eventually did shift.

In response to: Re: Starting to struggle

Re: Starting to struggle

I love those mindfulness 'games' when walking @Jynx . I love challenging myself to name as many shades of green as I can, or name as many sounds I hear. It's amazing because you end up seeing and hearing layers of sound!

Give it a go @Fluttershy1 . You can even do it in the comfort of your own room if you don't feel like getting out. How many colours can you name?

In response to: Re: Starting to struggle

Re: Starting to struggle

@Jynx - given kitty some pats and watching Stuart little

11 - 20 of 1,106