I just need to vent...

Hi @BlueTrane

It really is a hard time of year for many isn’t it… Really glad to hear that you’re seeking the support through your dr.

Your awareness around noticing those changes in your day to day Is a strength & just wanted to share with you knowing the courage it’s taken me to reach out & seek the supports that work, so acknowledge the steps you’re taking towards your wellbeing & really admire that in you.

Hope you find support from the forums community & glad you have a space you felt comfortable to get things off your chest.

I lost someone.

I haven't mentioned this on the forums yet.

Thanks for giving me an easy in.

Someone who was a beautiful someone in the community. Someone we shouldn't of lost. It hurts. Some of those people I've lost were also beautiful grievers. People that made things make sense.

Every loss is a new grief to integrate. A new lesson to carry, when the lost learner carried it so much better. Maybe that's one of the reasons to share grief. I couldn't possibly do justice to honouring my special people alone.

Update: Yesterday, I had a "momentary lapse of reason". I was raging and ranting in a paranoid frenzy that triggered my parents, who witnessed my psychotic episode. They were worried and scared, and instead of taking me to the hospital, they decided to lash out at the person I was incoherently ranting about. When they left, I did some breathing exercises and mindfulness techniques and managed to ground myself enough to smooth over the snowballing drama set off by my meltdown.