Not sure what to do

Hello @Carlo

How are today my friend and your family

@BPDSurvivor

@Carlo

Sorry you did not get much response til our @Shaz51 saw your post.

I only saw it now, and saddened you were not supported much with it.

Breaking up is hard and often rubs everybody raw in ways never imagined. I hope you and your family got through christmas alright and have managed to get things to a better place.

Find ways to look after yourself.

Take Care

Apple

what has happened @Carlo , here for you if you like to talk about anything

there is always Sane chat line too

@Appleblossom, @Former-Member

Thanks for tagging me in here @Shaz51, and I'm glad @Appleblossom was able to stop by with some words of support too @Carlo.

I'm really sorry to hear that you've been going through what sounds like a really tough time in your relationship, @Carlo. Have you been able to talk with her partner about how you're feeling? I know that can be quite hard, particularly if someone's window of tolerance is small. In the past I have had a relationship with someone with a formal diagnosis of BPD and I can admit that I struggled with it. In hindsight, a lot of that struggle was my own in accepting their needs around their diagnosis and being able to accommodate them in a way that was respectful of my own. This can be really hard to navigate on your own as it can be quite complex, so with that in mind, my best recommendation is to give a service like Relationships Australia a call.

We also have the SANE help centre who can be contacted Mon-Fri (10am-10pm) on 1800 187 263.

Hang in there, @Carlo and please keep reaching out here if and when you need a bit of extra support.

Rhye ☘️

Thank you @Former-Member @Shaz51 @Appleblossom Appreciate your comments and replies

It has been a long haul.

Unfortunately, my partner hasn't been formally diagnosed. She doesn't believe in counselling and sees it all as my fault.

For a while, I started believe this story and felt guilty that I had caused these problems (and her pain). Now I realise that, while I no doubt contributed (and could have done better), it wasn't my fault.

This is the way she deals with things.

At the moment, she is on a high and very happy.

I remain hopeful and grateful for the joy I have today!

@Carlo

Separating personal responsibility in intimate relationships is tricky. We can only do our best. After all ... 'to err is human" ...

Protecting oneself from a wall of blame may be needed.

I am finally getting less naive and trusting and hopeful, but sharing on this forum, has shown me many ways that humans ... do their stuff .... helping me work on being oversensitive, and lowering expectations to what people ... are really like ...

Glad you have some good days.