Topic Tuesday // Finding community: Feeling belonging and connection // Tuesday 7th December, 7:00- 8:30PM AEDT

Welcome @Mystickate 🙂 Great to see you here!

Well, my great passion is flying. Earlier this year I was lucky enough to land a position as an instructor at a flying school. A very long time in the making..

There are a few things I've done over the years...been a muso, built radio control and scale models, but I've lost my "mojo" for that. Music became too much of a chore, being a single dad, and the modelling has just fallen by the wayside.

Raising my kids has been kinda tough at times - I've been full time at it for the last 10 years, with only occasional help from family, and there are lots of things I wish I'd done better. While I don't think I've been a failure per se, in some respects I feel I could've done a better job.

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@Judi9877 wrote:

Community for me means somewhere that I can belong, be myself ...

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Thank you so much for clarifying that, @Judi9877 ! It really does need saying, because a lot of people just don't appreciate it:

Community depends on you having the freedom to be authentic!

To me, that's such a profound truth that I often forget to mention it. For me it's an "It goes without saying..." truth. But, surprisingly, a lot of people don't have any appreciation for it's relevance.

You do not have community if the harmony completely relies on you play-acting a character that doesn't reflect who you are.

So many people have blamed my loneliness on my weariness or inability to pretend to think believe things I don't believe, to enjoy things I don't enjoy, or to act certain ways that I can't understand. But even if I was successful in meeting their demands, I would still be hopelessly lonely.

Play-acting an unrelatable character does not integrate you into a community.

4. What does belonging look and feel like to you?

@Former-Member @nony @CapnWannabe @outlander @Shaz51 @Judi9877 @chibam @still_bookish @Bunniekins @HenryX @Mystickate

What does belonging look and feel like to you?
Belonging looks like having relationships that are genuinely reciprocal, respectful and evolving. It does require effort on both sides and for me it does take time.

TRUST is probably the most important factor for me when it comes to feelings of belonging. It’s taken time for me to practice trusting within myself as well as with other people.
Where there is trust developed in being able to express myself in ways that feel true and they are received in a respectful and accepting manner.

If I were to describe it through physical senses in the body, I would say it’s like an easing of tension, as though a relaxing or receptive feeling of muscles for example in the body.

It’s funny because I can feel most belonging when I am in nature without any one else around me, but it’s the same sensation I feel when I feel belonging with others in a community. A sense of safety, tranquility and that I’m part of a bigger picture than just myself.

How about you? What does belonging look & feel like to you?

@CapnWannabe

I can well and truly identify with those sentiments, though I probably haven't accomplished what you have.