Topic Tuesday // Finding community: Feeling belonging and connection // Tuesday 7th December, 7:00- 8:30PM AEDT

Hi @Daisydreamer

Thanks for the tag.

I arrived late and my head can't get into the swing of the conversation just now. I'll come back later and read through 🙂

@CapnWannabe

I sure hear what you are saying. Consider yourself invited to the thread titled "Henry's Landing Strip and Hangar" if you would like to drop in. Here I do not think that we can develop the conversation that we might have.

With Best Wishes

@HenryX

5. a) Have you experienced barriers or challenges to finding community?

b) Have you been able to overcome these challenges? If so, how?

@Former-Member @CapnWannabe @chibam @Judi9877 @HenryX @Shaz51 @Bunniekins @still_bookish @nony @Judi9877 @outlander @Mystickate

a)Have you experienced barriers or challenges to finding community?

Absolutely I have & at times I can still struggle with feeling a true sense of belonging or connection in a community. Partly due to insecurities, previous bad experiences, as well as when my MH is not doing so great - I can be swept up in false narratives of disconnection which tends to play out by isolating myself.

Like I mentioned before, trust is a big one for me personally, because it takes time for me to build trust with others and be at a place where I feel comfortable opening up.

Also it does require effort and an ability to put myself out there which can feel really vulnerable. It can be a risk to try meeting new people, and fear can get in the way for me sometimes.

Having had a bad experience when putting yourself out there in a community or being excluded can also have an impact to self-esteem and a willingness to try again.

Also, when there are ‘cliques’ of certain personalities that create a sense of exclusion if you don’t ‘fit’ in with them.

What types of barriers have you experienced?

b) Have you been able to overcome these challenges? If so, how?

What has helped at times when my MH is what seems to be the barrier - Outside of a community space, I have found ways that work for me in supporting my MH and wellbeing , through trial & error - and I think that has helped in getting to know myself in a more true way. Having a trusted ally, in my case it’s as a therapist, has been significant in my ability to show up when I am in the company of others, in community.

If we’re talking about trust - I think in some ways will always be a work in progress. And I don’t think that’s a bad thing. Being able to practice trusting in myself as well as trust that comes through relationship takes ongoing effort.

Practice - the more I do it, the more I feel less outside my comfort zone & the more exposure I have of what I like & value in a community. Sometimes that means asking a friend or support to come along with me, maybe just at first to help ‘test the waters’.

When it comes to past bad experiences, it means I now have a clearer knowing of when a community is for me & when it’s not -
I can’t help but think of the phrase - ‘Actions speak louder than words’ - which I can use to help guide me around this in future experiences.

I am also big on listening to my own instincts - it may be that I may not have a rational reason as to why I don’t feel like a community is for me, but I will feel into that part that can’t be explained through the mind & listen to that.

I’d love to know any of your own ways of overcoming barriers or challenges you’ve come up against around finding communities?

What are some ways you overcome your own barriers?

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@chibam wrote:

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@Daisydreamer wrote:

4. What does belonging look and feel like to you?

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IMHO, it's the sense that what you say and do not only matters, but that it is an asset to the group; and conversely, the group is likewise an asset to you, because you are all communally building towards what you aspire towards.

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Such an important point @chibam!

One is here, one is billabong clubhouse in NSW it's a physical place for people living with mental health, they do a variety of activities and lunches. And the first one I found is Adhd Rewired community.

How do I find that @HenryX ?

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@Daisydreamer wrote:

5. a) Have you experienced barriers or challenges to finding community?

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Ooooooh yes!

Basically, once you finish school, you get zero opportunities to meet new people. So unless you gel very well with whatever crowd you weaved yourself into at school, you are in a condition that rhymes with "royally chucked".

And good luck if you think that the mental health system will help you find your rightful clan, because they have an internal guideline against offering real-life help to patients.

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@Daisydreamer wrote:

b) Have you been able to overcome these challenges? If so, how?

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Fraid not.