I'm sick of feeling lonely

Singing sounds like a wonderful way to keep some of that loneliness at bay @HenryX . Do you find that engaging in such a group activity helps in this respect? I attended a pub choir a couple of times, and despite my social anxiety and reticence to sing in public, I really enjoyed it. I don't quite know what it was about the experience but I found it to be really uplifting at a time when not much was able to lift my spirits.

Hello @Former-Member , @MDT , @Appleblossom , @Former-Member , @cloudcore

and other visitors to the thread

Yes , although the singing group is small, the lady, who I mentioned earlier, is the mainstay and is constant and regular, even if I and some of the other members are less so. I found that, after my Mum's death just over two years ago, I knew that I needed to engage in social activity, but also needed or desired to have relatively few strings attached. I had grown accustomed to the company of my Mum and needed to adjust and learn the way to change that developed social position to one that involved people from outside my immediate social space and environment.

The Tuesday evening singing group and also our singing group on Thursday morning, with residents at the local Aged Care community, where we have a combined number of about 12 to 15 attending, also helps in the social engagement aspect of my life. It was just over two years before I went to the Thursday Aged Care group, because that is where Mum was resident for her last 3 years, where I visited and had time with her each day, until her death. So I needed to address that issue, difficulty, internal barrier, before I could return. I am pleased that I did so.

I am pleased also, that the singing, various church gatherings and functions that I attend, occasional RSL meetings, and a couple of other activities, including this forum, help keep loneliness "at arms length" most of the time. For me there is some conflict between 'social anxiety' and community activities, but I was aware that the only way that I could deal with the 'social anxiety' and the loneliness issues was to actually put in the effort, confront the anxiety, and get out there. That is easy to write here, but was not so easy at the time. However, I was logically aware that I would benefit significantly from the interactions, so that was the motivator.

I have previously sung in fairly prominent choirs, that were much more structured and formal than the group in which I now sing. Fortunately, I have been able to enjoy both of the different styles and structures. The group that I sing with now is very informal, and encourages people, with their different strengths and or weaknesses, to join, enjoy and contribute whatever they have to offer. I understand that people also join singing groups to meet and socialise with other people. I recall one young woman, in one of the choirs who, had I been younger, would very much have enjoyed the prospect of developing a significant friendship with her, that unfortunately, at the time, would for each of us, have been inappropriate {enter left stage @MDT ). However, I was able to enjoy the company of all the choir members, some of whom, I had more in common than with others. I agree with your reference to uplifting. Singing is noted for that attribute and the experience of it for many people.

On a very different tack, I also have a friend who is changing an engine in his vehicle, a relatively long term project, the movement on which is governed by his available finances. The regular contact there is also re-assuring and encouraging for me, and, it appears, for him also.

These are a few thoughts about my activities and some small detail of the psychological obstacles that I have had to address and to which I needed to respond, in my pursuit of social engagement, companionship and activities that have been rewarding for me. It is easy to get bogged down and "mindbound" in the detail of the problem or difficulty and to forget that what we are wanting to deal with is not the detail of the problem, but the what is desired, the detail of the outcome and the tasks required to reach that desired outcome.

With My Best Wishes

@HenryX