Hello @Tiffany43
You are really fine with regard to when you wish to, or feel able to post a comment on the forum. We all vary the times of our contributions of comments, requests for support and statements of where we are at, at whatever time that may be appropriate, convenient or beneficial. Sometimes the forum just gives us a space where we can state how we are feeling at any given time. So, you have no need to say “sorry”. We are pleased to read what you offer, or request, whenever you feel able and comfortable doing so.
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Most of us also know the feeling of being sad and other negative feelings which make it difficult for us to “get going”. Often we just have to ride out that particular space and place in time, till we feel up to moving forward again. The forum can often be a place where we may spend some of that time. Even when we do start moving forward, we are conscious of taking it easy, so that we maintain equilibrium and keep ourselves going at a steady pace, even if it is slowly at first.
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As you read through and familiarise yourself with other people's stories, you will become aware that you are not alone with the issue of seeing our pet projects, sometimes diminish in value, either literally or figuratively. I hope that you will be able to recover ground with your special plants. Hopefully, improve the ones you have already and possibly propagate some new ones, which may help to cover any losses.
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“Pet projects” are really one of the ways to help in dealing with the adverse effects of mental health issues and can involve a whole range of possible activities.
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When we are dealing with our own mental health issues, it is so easy to compare our own progress and accomplishments with those of others. That can be especially so with people as close to us as our children. I can understand and identify with your feelings of being “incredibly proud and incredibly jealous.” Recently I wrote about the difference between the references to pride and admiration with regard to my own daughter's accomplishments. It may help to view our children's accomplishments, vicariously, in a positive sense, as an extension and product of ourselves.
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Our decision making capacity also feels as though it has a huge weight on it, or anchor attached to it. It is tempting to push ourselves harder when attempting to and having difficulty making decisions, even those that are common, such as what to wear for any given occasion. If that occasion is special, the weight seems to be heavier. It is at times such as these that I sit back and ask myself to relax. Then I look at the task on its own, disconnecting it from the event to which it might otherwise be attached. In your situation, it is your daughters graduation. I suggest making the event separate from the task of choosing what to wear. Now the task is simply the comparison between outfits – on its own. While that is a task in itself, it may become less onerous and difficult when dealt with on its own, as a separate and individual process.
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This note may reach you after the decision has been made, but I hope that it serves as an example of how we may approach other decisions.
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I take this opportunity to recognise your own graduation and the work and effort that was involved in accomplishing that achievement, particularly in view of the fact that you were pregnant at that time.
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We look forward to hearing from you, @Tiffany43 , whether it is to report an accomplishment, or to request assistance in dealing with any issues that you face, or simply making a statement of how you may be feeling at any given time.
With Best Wishes for Today and the Future
@HenryX
