Emotion Dumping (sorry)

The past day or two has been relatively 'calmer' for me.

I've been able to start 'challenging' some of the thoughts going through my head and recognising the paranoid delusions, I'm curretly experiencing and a;so recognising the trigger that started me down this paath. So I guess that's a start. A lot is to do with my partners actions from a few months ago.

Unfortunately if I try and bring this up with up with him he gets defensive and say he ashamed and doesn't want to talk about it, yet will bring up my past mistakes and doesn't seem to understand that yes I ashamed but these mistakes happened years ago, the issues I try and bring up are recent. He then goes on to say I need to my Psych because hew can't handle my emotional dumping on him.

I mentioned to this to my Psych and the term 'gaslighting' was mentiione and she asked if that's what I thought might be happening, as I told her I can't see as being gaslighting. I know I don't always have the best track record, my last long term r/ship was emotionally abusive but this one? I can't see it. If anything one could say that I am the one that can be verbally abusive when things are bad. Not something I am proud of, but I know it's the truth deep down.

I have trouble knowing where to turn because of the apparent emotional dumping, so I reached yestersay to a friend, who told me to 'dump away' and that my emotional dumping is what friends are for. I burst into tears and she also mentioned her concer of gaslighting. Again I can't see it.

My partner mentioned the other day he needs space to do what he wants which is video chat with this person (yes, I don't like her, she's interferring and manipulative and needs to mind her own business, but is his 'best friend' all of a sudeen so what can I do?) I just don't understand how him sitting at the PC on video chat saying nothing hasd a point, unless it's so she can sit there and look at him for her own pleasure. I know it sounds bitchy but I have no where else to vent to and he wonders why I'm convinced she's in love with him. Despite her being married, which I know doesn't always mean people are truly faithful.

Now I'm trying determine what is the psychosis talking and what is my own feelings, which is hard. How do you truly know when your own beleifs and thoughts are distorted?