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Why bother? What's the point? It's all too hard

HurttoolongCasual Contributor20 Sept 2016, 12:18 am AEST

Why bother? What's the point? It's all too hard

I'm 49 and I've been living with depression for over twenty years. I have two great kids, a good job, a car and some savings. I've been a home owner, I've been married. I'm almost twice the size I should be. I've kept soldiering on for my kids sake but now that they're both adults I don't feel the same level of responsibility for them as their both independent now. I've been in therapy and on antidepressant medication for twenty years but the hurt and the struggle remain and I'm exhausted. I've lost my faith.

I've gone from having repetitive negative thoughts that would keep me awake at night to now just hearing the word 'die' over and over inside my head daily. When I'm at home all I do is watch Tele as a distraction to being alone with my thoughts.

What encourages you to go on when living every day is so hard?

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In response to: Why bother? What's the point? It's all too hard

Lost3Casual Contributor22 Sept 2016, 2:50 pm AEST

Re: Why bother? What's the point? It's all too hard

These words swim around in my head everyday @Hurttoolong
I am 34 and have had a diagnosis of anxiety and depression as well as PTSD since I was 18.

My partner keeps me here.
I am currently suspended from work for a silly mistake where no one was hurt and there was no threat to anyone; but still I have been off for almost a month.

I try everything to stay out of the darkness, but sometimes I think it would be easier to allow the darkness to cover me.

I find solace in the night time hours, because with most of the world asleep I can't be sent bad news or given any other punishments; other than the self inflicted punishments.

I don't have any friends apart from my partner, so it is hard to reach out for help as I know she is dealing with her own issues with health at the moment.

I suppose all we can do is wait for the colours to return...

In response to: Why bother? What's the point? It's all too hard

HurttoolongCasual Contributor25 Sept 2016, 2:16 pm AEST

Re: Why bother? What's the point? It's all too hard

Thanks utopia, my daughter has asked if she can more back hope for 3 months so I'll be nicely distracted now.

In response to: Re: Why bother? What's the point? It's all too hard

HurttoolongCasual Contributor25 Sept 2016, 2:21 pm AEST

Re: Why bother? What's the point? It's all too hard

Hi, I appreciate you touching base.

In response to: Why bother? What's the point? It's all too hard

utopiaSenior Contributor25 Sept 2016, 3:42 pm AEST

Re: Why bother? What's the point? It's all too hard

@Hurttoolong. Any time you want to talk I'm here. Just put @ in front of my name - so I will be emailed that youvhave sent me a post. I'd hate to miss it.
Hope today is a good day for you. I've been busy and am now ready for a nap. I do still tire easily

In response to: Why bother? What's the point? It's all too hard

Unknown userMember12 Apr 2017, 2:36 am AEST

Re: Why bother? What's the point? It's all too hard

😢

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