BPD? I don’t know…

How are you 'diagnosed' with a mental health disorder in Australia?

Since around the age of 14 I've been dealing with anger issues, social anxiety, fear of abandonment (mainly family). My emotions have always been very intense and very up and down and my anger has always gotten the best of me from a young age. My social anxiety makes my armpits sweat badly and all I have to do is leave my house or even hear news that someone's coming over and I'll start to sweat like crazy so I'm constantly in dark t shirts/jumpers because I refuse to wear any light colours. I have suicidal thoughts when I'm going through an 'episode', I'll want to harm myself but not want to at the same time. I've had an issue with weight for as long as I can remember, at one stage I refused to eat in public so therefore I wouldn't eat at school or anywhere people outside my immediate family could see and even then I found it difficult. Usually I eat once a day now, but I'll go through episodes where I'll eat a lot more than I need to so my weight's up and down and thats frustrating in itself. I feel judged constantly, like people are watching my every move even when I'm alone and they're picking at my every flaw. I have a huge issue with making decisions, it's one of the hardest things I struggle with. From what chocolate I want to what I want to do for the rest of my life. I rather just not make the decision at all because it just ends up making me frustrated.

My episodes are very intense and they can happen over the smallest of things, I go from sad and crying and wanting to die to angry, wanting to physically hit people I hate and wanting to destroy things. These emotions switch rapidly, so I'll be crying for 10 minutes and the next minute I'm furious and it'll go back and forth. This can go on from an a couple hours to a couple days depending on the situation. I get irritated super easy as well so many episodes start because I can't stop myself from feeling that way no matter how hard I try....

I can go on but I honestly just want to know how someone gets diagnosed in Australia because my doctor sent me to see a Psychologist when I was around 19 and I saw her once every 2 weeks for a year but I was pretty closed off so I didn't really like to speak too much but I answered all her questions the best I could and tried the best I could to explain how I was feeling. She also sent me to see a Psychiatrist a couple times, I didn't really have to say anything to her besides answer a few questions (I suppose the Psychologist would've informed her about me) The session took about 10-15 minutes and in that time she'd found a medication to put me on.. The psychiatrist put me on a few medications during this time, one after the other when I wasn't liking the ones she'd given me. They'd make me feel super sleepy, drained or just 'zombie-like', they took all emotions including any sense of happiness, so I refused to take any more after she kept handing me different antipsychotics, antidepressants etc.. My sessions stopped at the end of the year and I was left feeling as confused as I was when I walked in. The only reason I went to the sessions was because I wanted to know what was wrong with me but that definitely didn't happen. I stopped going to get help because I felt like I just wasn't recieving the help I needed and this is where I'm left today. I can't explain all this to my family because they don't understand and that's not their fault. But I need help, I'm now 22 and I dont know where to go or who to talk to, I've done a lot of research and I feel like I identify most with Borderline Personality Disorder but of course I can't diagnose myself so I'm just confused. Any advice would be very much appreciated!