Hi and welcome, @Kanna , it's good you've joined, where people can understand what you're going through.
I'm sorry you're almost at breaking point. I'm wondering if you'd be prepared to visit your GP and ask for a Mental Health Care Plan? I know you said counsellors in the past haven't helped, but I've got a lot of healing through therapy with a psychologist. I'm wondering if maybe you haven't found one that's a good fit yet?
The Mental Health Care Plan will entitle you to 10 (20 during Covid) subsidised sessions with a psychologist per year. The only catch is that it's hard to get in with a psychologist at the moment and may take a few months.
The GP might also be able to prescribe meds for your anxiety (not sure if you have meds already).
I'm concerned you're reaching out for help and might need professional help... Of course we are here to listen and support you, but there's only so much we can do as peers with lived experience.
I can really empathise with major anxiety - it sucks, doesn't it 😞
A handy forum tip is if you type @ and click on a name in the drop-down box, that person will get a notification and won't miss your reply.