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depression for older women

depression for older women

my life history is horrific to me, my father sexually abused me, and when my relatives found out they had my father at their house talking it over , my mother came over to me and said ," if you dont come back home i will get beaten up, " to me all that said was she cared more about her own safety than the fact that my father was sexually molesting me,

my father was also physically and verbally abusive to my mother and me not so much to my brother but he copped a bit of it

when all that was said and done my brother followed in his fathers footsteps and sexually abused me when i was 12 and he was 17, my mother even saw the pornographic photos my brother took with a polaroid camera and yet to this day both my brother and my mother denied they did anything wrong,

my eldest son also continued the abuse but i think my mother had a hand in this whenever she babysat the boy she made him stay strapped in his pushchair hiding him away from my father and yet my mother when confronted with my knowledge of this again all she could say was her safety,

then when the boy was about 16 after being ostracised from her for years she told him the horror stories of my childhood and told him after my father died, well that didnt help his disposition, and his dislike of being made to stay etc and hatred of waiting for things and lack of patience when he was forced to stay in a pusher for hours,

and now the result for me is i think everyone hates me, im no good at things and i even think my pussycat hates me cos i told her off for knocking the mice cage to the ground,

im scared of people and even when a lady at the bowls club when told i had double booked myself for a championship game of bowls i phoned her to say sorry and all she could say without saying anything else etc, was" what so you dont want to play with me cos im a bad player, well if you want your money back i wont give it to you unless they (the committee)give me back mine""

now ive been sitting, laying on the floor sobbing my heart out and scared that if i speak i will upset people , im scared to ask for help or a ride to the shops from my son as im scared he will be angry with me

5 replies

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In response to: depression for older women

Re: depression for older women

@bigmomma. What a heartbreaking childhood you had. And if I'm reading this right - it continued into adulthood. The abuse you went through was not your fault. I hope you understand that. It was 100% the fault of your parents.
I'm guessing that you haven't spoken to anyone about what happened and is now happening to you.
I really would like to encourage you to make an appointment to see your gp. Try and explain to your gp what you have told us. If you find it hard to say - write it down or show them your post. Your gp will be able to help you and should refer you to a psychologist.
You need help in dealing with past abuses. You need help dealing with possible depression and anxiety.
Your cat will forgive you yelling. My dogs forgive me when I get so upset and scream.
There are people on this site who have experienced childhood abuse & others who are struggling to keep contact with family.
I'm sure in the next day or so - that they will reply to you posts and offer understanding and hope for a happier future.
But please, when you wake up tomorrow, phone your gp and get an appointment. The sooner you seek help, the sooner you can start healing.
I hope that you will feel comfortable letting us know how you get on.
Wishing you all the best

In response to: Re: depression for older women

Re: depression for older women

Hi @bigmomma

It can feel terrifying to stand up for one's rights when we dont feel confident about ourselves.

I, too have felt so desperate for love that I have been afraid of rejection by my cats ... it is triggered by unmet childhood needs ... and the feelings often remain ... but YOU HAVE THE RIGHT ... to stand up for what you need ... maybe accept that for a little while the person or cat might not like it .. but if it is genuine ... then you are within your rights ... console yourself ... in another thread I have just posted about my feelings of social rejection .. I guess we cant please all the people all the time ... but congrats on getting into the championships.

with cats ... I am pretty easy going ... and they have cat flaps etc ... so they come&go as they please .. but from the beginning .. I kept one .. rule ... they were not allowed on the kitchen bench or table ... I called it the Battle of the Benches ... and they put up with it ... and still come back

In response to: depression for older women

Re: depression for older women

Hi @bigmomma

It's so heartbreaking to see time and again how childhood trauma affects up well into adulthood. I am so sorry you have had to put up with experience no child ought to experience. Bigmomma, @Appleblossom and @utopia have already suggested you see a GP and have yourself referred to a good psychologist. . A good counsellor will help you work through the trauma one by one, so you can discover how beautiful life can be. After multiple childhood trauma and a long-lasting abusive relationship two psychologists, one being a trauma specialist and the other specialising in cognitive behaviour therapy helped me work through the traumata and major depression. I still do get anxiety attacks and sometimes I am in a deep hole, but after four years of therapy I now have the understanding to know when and how I can seek help. And this forum is a wonderful source of support.

Do let us know how you are feeling today.

In response to: depression for older women

Re: depression for older women

I too have been through childhood trauma, if I could reach through the screen I would give you a big hug, you are a worthy person, your cat loves you and is learning to live with you as you are now , I tell my cat everything. Did you know that the more time you give to a cat the more they will give back.

In response to: depression for older women

Re: depression for older women

How are you feeling today @bigmomma? Don't forget we are here for you to support you.

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