Pain

Hey @Pain

"Why can I not just accept he does not love need or want me"

What's the answer to this? What is it about you that sees this as an unacceptable failure for yourself?

Hi @Pain

I hear your pain and I hope you dont mind me saying but I know your pain. I felt the same as you do right now. To tell you the truth sometimes when I'm alone and tired I feel that rejection all over again. I try to figure out how I could've done things differently, try to see if i should've just tolerated things better and even yet just let it be so I can be with him.

But then, I look at my toddler that he rejected when I was pregnant and he left. Then thought about how he would treat my child and myself. How hard it will be to work with him for my child sake.

Then I start realising how things are meant to be. Slowly the pain does go away. I've accepted not being with a partner and I feel that its OK. Its OK to be alone because then you can be kinder to yourself and work on you for you.

Its hard to see it at the early stages but once you start be kinder to yourself and work on you for you then you realise that its not you, its them. Why he wasnt good enough for you and you deserve better. Its the universe way of showing you that you are in the wrong relationship and you deserve better.

Start healing yourself when your ready and help yourself to beautiful things.. conversation with loved ones, friends and even meet new ones. You are perfect for someone and remember the old tales where Adam had to find Eve, your Adam will come and find you.. (sorry for the religious example. Its the only one I can think of right now)..

So I am hoping this helps.. Be kind to yourself and hope you find peace as it is not you who has to fit to him.. a relationships just fits..

Be kind to yourself and love who you are.. xx

Hi @Pain ,

Heartbreak can be so hard to move past, it's completely okay that you're still going through the hurt, regrets and longing 3 months later. I've been there too.

Do you have any support you can lean on during this time?

from cloudcore

My family just don't understand why I want to be with him after everything that has happen but I do. I don't to meet new people it's overwhelming I don't want to start all over again I just can not understand why he could not love me after everything I sacrificed because I loved him with my whole heart.

I send 17 years by myself and raised me son.

he was an old friend that I new had a drinking problem and his own demons but I thought together we could level each other out but sadly after 7 years it's not case

It's okay to feel lost @Pain

As others have said, processing the end of a relationship, any kind of relationship, is difficult and takes time. Change is diffiutt. Especially when we don't want it or we are usnure if we welcome it.

You have shown great strength in reaching out to the Forums community. And I have a feeling that strength will carry you through this difficult time. Even if you are feeling lost.

Sitting with you,
-periwinklepixie

I thought I did but now they say just get over it it's been longer enough now move on. I think yer right get over it how do u balance your self after being in a relationship and being a part of some you loved with your whole heart after 7 years believe me it was not the perfect relationship he is a functioning alcoholic not diagnosed by me but a doctor. He didn't need to use his fists his words were cruel and horrific enough yet still I sit in this darkness hoping he will decide he wants me back and i will continue to get love from him in scraps when he decides to throw some my way ...... really How pathetic am I ...

I really hear you @Pain

But I promise you this, it is not pathetic to want love from those we love.

I have often found myself using such words to describe myself when I am longing for something that a person can not give me. One of the hardest things I have had to accept in life is that the people we want/expect love from are not always able to give it in ways that are meaningful for us or that we need.

I have no great grain of wisdom to give you. But I will say this, the further I have got away from the relationships described above the larger my capacity for self-love and respect has become. It takes time. I know that is probably not what you want to hear right now.

Thinking of you and all you have to offer those who are ready to love you
- periwinklepixie