A safe place to express myself

I went to the shops and got some Green & Black's Butterscotch chocolate. The texture is like Bertie Beetles from my childhood. This reminds me of Christmas beetles from my childhood. I still have an image in my head, clear as day, of the metallic blue Christmas beetle at the bottom of the tree at the back of the school. I was in Grade 1. I was all by myself, just me and the Christmas beetle on a hot summer day in 1977. I also remember the ponies on the other side of the fence and how brown the grass was. And I remember my friends, Sharon and Scooby, down the road. And Emma and Terri, my next door neighbours. And Aaron Batman over the road. He was an asshole. I wouldn't like to meet him now. He's probably a serial killer or in jail. I do miss Robert Shepherd Pie though, my friend from Queensland. He had the most beautiful blonde hair. I often wonder what he's doing. I hope he's alive and he's happy. I wonder if he ever thinks of me? I miss you Robert Shepherd Pie and our easy, happy life. I wonder if they still make Bertie Beetles?

I hope I meet

My special someone

Soon

And he better be

F***ing intelligent

Hello @Arizona I'm sorry you're feeling so alone and unsupported. I'm sure many forumites have supported you over the last weeks and months especially when you reached your milestone birthday. It's hard to know what to say sometimes - I'm not as articulate or emotionally intelligent as you - but your courage and resilience coping day by day and in dealing with your housing agency have been remarkable. You've rewritten this post several times so I guess you're still feeling fairly raw. I don't have anything to offer other than sympathy and the hope you feel better soon.

Dimity

Please stop

Telling me

How to think and feel

I don't even

Know you

And it's patronising

(This isn't about you of course Dimity. It's just a poem.)

It's not my problem

That you're a dumbass with no social skills

It's not my problem

That you don't listen

It's not my problem

That you're not as intelligent as me

I'm not your f***ing mother

https://youtu.be/zdZR_0IcfxQ

Everyone's a narcissist

I don't know why

It must be the internet

I blame the internet

For many things

Like dating

And expressions I hate

Americanisms

That didn't exist here

Before the 90's

The world is so f***ed now

Don't get me started

@Arizona

There are so many issues in virtual forums.

I noticed you kept changing your opening post.

I doubt there are perfect soul mates, but I still keep being me and that usually involves trying to reach out.

I have never been fully accepted and rarely been allowed to express myself safely. I am not sure it is a truthful thing to promise on a forum such as this. I guess that is the area where I dig deep for my resilience. As an educated woman, I have found it can be a lonely experience. I cant deny my effort and studies and value it, but has been a lonely road.

Poetry can be great. I also have valued the irl poetry scene.

Do you like Patti Smith?

Don't worry, Arizona, you will!

Intelligence attracts intelligence!

x

Hello, Arizona,

You are never alone,

don't worry about him

there will always be others along your way

Seek help where help is best sought,

Accept help at your point of need,

There will always be others.

You might feel alone,

But we are all in this together

No matter your diagnosis

And whether or not you agree,

The most important thing is that you are on a path of healing

Be patient

Be kind

to yourself

I am here,

Take all the time you need

You will find a way

With all the amazing posts here, I don't think I've got anymore to add @Arizona !

I don't have a special someone in my life either. We're together on this one! As much as I'd like someone, I'm not sure it's for me. Time is ticking, and I'm sort of 'stuck in my ways' (so to speak). So, I guess for the time being, I am grateful for the time I can be alone, knowing that this may change without warning.

I'll keep you in the loop @Arizona !

BPDSurvivor