Struggling with being a carer in lockdown

@outlander , I really feel for you 😞 You're in a difficult situation. I really hope a better solution becomes clear soon. 💙

I don't have much to give at the moment @outlander as I am in grief over my Mum's death, but wanted you to know that I totally get what it is like to be a young carer. It is so isolating and lonely and very hard to find people your own age that 'get it'. Our society is very ageist, but not only towards the elderly, it is ageist in both directions, patronising the young, claiming they know nothing about life. There are teens out there that have had to deal with more life than bratish boomers that I have met. I also totally understand geographical isolation in regional Australia, with very little services. I was just reading on the ABC about the negative effects of AirBnB on housing along the coast.....what chance does a young women like yourself ever have of getting your own place and some freedom and security......Australia is no longer the luck country, neoliberalism and inequality is now entrenched. There are other people out there like you, but we are hidden, Corny

Thanks for sharing this carer experience. I was a carer for my mother with dementia for 3 years, stress, trauma, sleep deprivation, had to give up work. Take care.

Hi @outlander sounds like it's pretty tough being you right now. Is there any respite for him that can be arranged? Even if it's just someone to cover for you for a couple of days, to give you a break. Could you speak to your GP about other support for you & him? You seem to have taken on a lot & it's intense in lockdown, kind of relentless is the sense I get. Keep reaching out. Accept any help that's offered to you. Stay in touch here also. Wishing you all the best.

I don't really have any words of wisdom @outlander because sometimes I don't know myself, how I survived.....you battle on somehow.

I think its natural to be awkward around people your own age when your life experiences are worlds apart, and you can't relate to their petty worries and shallow motivations. But I think that it isn't so much to do with age but to do with people's life experience & their personality. I have no patience and don't have anytime for surface people, they seem like aliens from out of space to me, I can't relate to them in any way and have no desire to waste my breath. Their biggest worries seem to be their physical appearance and getting a girlfriend or boyfriend. Imagine waking up and that is the only problem you have.

The aged care system in Australia is as bad if not worse than disability care....my sibs and I hope we have another 2 years or so but then will be back navigating that system for our aunt....from memory I think Mum waited 18 months for an aged care package and that was considered not too bad.....the problem is, like disability care, no one wants to work in the industry, its really hard to find good, trustworthy and sensitive carers. Corny

@outlander Dementia sucks..

When my mum had dementia, the best thing for her was a doll for some reason.. Considering he is still in his own home, he must be still pretty good at looking after himself..

What does he like, any clues as to what kind of things makes him happy, does he watch cricket or tennis.. Does he have a particular author he likes in the books around the house or a love of a certain musician?

I guess what i am trying to get at, is can you find something he used to love and see if you can rekindle that love for him to make him happy?

@outlander

Just saw this thread. 6 years being a carer is a big dent in your life as a young person. Pretty understandable that you need to protect yourself from some of the repetitive and gnarly aspects of dementia. Setting more boundaries for yourself around his care might be necessary until he transitions to residential. Even little inner things, only being available for some of the time, maybe meal times ... not sure what arrangements you have.

Seems like he is getting some level of social connection which is good for him.

Funny a lot about connection with others is a subtle concoction of traits ... not just age, gen or even culture.

Proud of you getting through all the challenges.