corona corroding relationships

Most of my mental health issues are around fear and trust so it's hard to separate physical from emotional risk right now. The close people in my life have significantly different positions than me when it comes to covid safety. I'm definitely the "pro-safety" one and they are "pro-freedom". This feels like it's going to have long term affects on our relationships.

I've become steadily accustomed to having my needs pushed aside from a psychological point of view. I've tried to meet that scenario with patience because mental illness can be hard to understand and invisible in a lot of ways. It's still very painful. Now it's not just about my wellbeing. Now it's about the physical and mental wellbeing of me and countless others.

No matter how many times I turn it in my head, I keep coming up with, relationships without duty of care aren't relationships (we simply can't/won't relate). At best, they're associations and they're associations that carry significant risks. Seems like a whole lot of work on these relationships has been pretty largely undone. It also feels like operation: rebuild my emotional attachments, is pretty much back to square one. To me it seems the result of people choosing the "experience" of love over the "act" of love. Or in other words they want me to trust them but aren't interested in honouring or earning that trust. It's an impass.

I guess these are my opinions. They're also the only opinions I'm likely to have because those opinions are based on my values and those values are based on my real world assessment. I look forward to one day maybe being able to share my life with people that reflect my values. Just, right now, not sure how that's most likely to happen.

For now, I'm glad I've got you fair peoples. This tricky time has gotten to a tricky phase.