Trauma from attempts

Hi @Bow

I think it is normal to have a mix of emotions after an attempt.

Happiness, anger, sadness, anxiousness, confusion and many more are all normal emotions.

After my last attempt I re wrote my safety plan to start of with. I also made it a priority to put my emotions and feelings in front of everyone else. I found some of my family had their own opinions but I tried to ignore them and just concentrate on myself and my immediate family. I also took it a day at a time and tried not to look too much into the future. I just concentrated on getting through a day at a time as safely as possible.

I am not sure if this helps or not, but I will say that what you are feeling/thinking is probably very normal.

Thanks for taking the time to reply @Snowie i appreciate it.

I've not really found my safety plan to be of much use unfortunately. but I guess having it there is a good idea in case it does yeah?

Taking it a day at a time sounds like a good idea at the moment.

your right, such a mix of emotions at the moment. I've had moments today where I have cried. Feels a bit overwhelming really.

I had a call from community mental health earlier, checking in on me, they said to make sure I call if my sh and si get bad and they will come and see me. I didn't know that they would actually come and see me, just thought it would all be a waste of time talking to someone over the phone. They also informed me that I have been allocated to the adult psychology team and I have been allocated a psych already. I will go in and see the crisis team on Monday and then the psych will take over from there. That all sounds promising.... hopefully.

I think the feeling of overwhelming is normal hon @Bow

I am glad that you have been allocated a psychologist. Hopefully they are a good match for you and you will be able to get something out of it.

Please try and use the community mental health if needed hon. I always have trouble talking on the phone to people and find face to face so much easier. So if they can come out and see you then maybe that might be a good step if needed.

Thanks @Snowie @Judi9877

I really hope this psychologist is a good fit too @Snowie this will be my 3rd psych in less than a year. I too prefer face to face, that's why I opted to go in and see them on Monday, they did offer to come and see me tomorrow, but I'd prefer to go there, have more privacy to talk, although I'm trying really hard to let my folks in a little bit more.

Hopefully they are a good fit for you @Bow

I would prefer also to go in and see them. Much more privacy for you hon.

Have you got any plans for tonight?

Not sure yet @Snowie d will be home shortly and apparently she has been asking about the firepit. I got a couple of bags of wood today, so maybe we will fire it up.
Other than that, not much planned. Just more Tv.

That sounds nice @Bow I am sure D will be glad to be home and happy to be with you again.

Hi @Bow ,

I totally relate. To this day, I'm still working through the trauma of my attempts, especially having developed a police/ambulance phobia. I begin to hyperventilate and end up having a panic attack every time I hear/see/read about police and ambulance.

Even tonight, I was reliving my past attempt. It's not pleasant. I'm so sorry we are both in this predicament. I am acutely aware of my phobias and hence have been working with my therapist to try and change some of these thought associations I have made between the services and my mental health. It's working, but taking a long time. I know I can't hurry it.

Take care @Bow . I'm with you in this.

BPDSurvivor

Thanks @BPDSurvivor for sharing. Yes, I can relate to that phobia with police/ ambulance. I was laying in bed last night and I heard sirens and I panicked a bit. It was a week ago last night since my recent attempt and it felt like it was happening all over again. I was in bed when it all happened and police came with sirens. It took a while for me to calm down and realise that I was actually safe and then able to get off to sleep.