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Help desperately needed but where to find it?

Need2findhelpCasual Contributor18 Aug 2021, 7:28 pm AEST

Help desperately needed but where to find it?

After struggling with treatment resistant depression for the past 4 years, my 23yo daughter ended up on life support in ICU 2 weeks ago after (her first) suicide attempt. This is an event I'd predicted and I've lived in constant dread, worrying ... not about "if" but about "when". However, as I always try to look for the good things in all situations, I'm grateful that the story thus far is different to what I'd predicted. After 4 days in ICU, "medically" she is ok, there is another chance to help her.

The problem is she has tried all treatments from ECT to TMS and many different cocktails of "the best" medications. She diligently attends psychology grouos/courses designed to help her destructive thoughts, she is a good patient, a sensible patient, an easy patient and she tries so hard to help herself. But for her, this makes the situation more hopeless. Everytime she tries something new that doesn't alleviate her pain the situation becomes even more hopeless and she is tired and running out of energy to keep fighting.

Right now I feel she needs some extra support with mixed emotions from a failed suicide attempt, she is not only experiencing her usual mental health issues but she has added trauma and grief which are really affecting her. I'm running out of ideas to find help and I feel desperate that there may not be a next chance. I foolishly imagined that she would have received counseling about what she was thinking/feeling at the time she tried to take her life and there would be some sort of trauma counseling so she could talk things through. She desperately wants to talk to someone objective/impartial. She is really hurting. Help is so hard to find, she can't even get an appointment with her psychologist for a month. She sees her psychiatrist in hospital but he doesn't really talk to her, just tells her he has tried everything and it's up to her, then he tweaks her meds a bit more.

I will do absolutely anything to get her the help she needs and I will do absolutely anything to help her myself but I feel like I just don't know where to turn. Any ideas would be really appreciated.

Thank you.

3 replies

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In response to: Help desperately needed but where to find it?

Unknown userMember19 Aug 2021, 10:54 am AEST

Re: Help desperately needed but where to find it?

Hi @Need2findhelp

Thank you for sharing about your experience. it is clear to me how much you care about your daughter.

I resonate a lot with what you are saying. Sometimes when you are the 'perfect-patient' it can be harder to get the right supports.

I also totally get what you are saying, about how the first month or so after an attempt are so crucial for someone's recovery and I get how frustrating it would be not being able to get in touch with the Psychologist!

Has your daughter's hospital mentioned anything about Outreach Workers? I personally found Outreach Workers exceptionally valuable following my attempt. I still see one every two weeks to this day just to help keep on top of things. In a pre-lockdown world Outreach Workers would visit you in your home or at a cafe but they can also do telehealth. Mine is a Social Worker but they can be all sorts of health professionals. Might be worth looking into? 🙂

All the best
- periwinklepixie

P.S I was 23 when I attempted suicide. I was also a 'not if but when' person.I never thought I would make it past 25...Three years later (almost to the day) and now I am a Peer Worker at SANE using my experiences to help others. I guess what I am trying to say is that there is hope for your daughter. ❤️

In response to: Re: Help desperately needed but where to find it?

Need2findhelpCasual Contributor19 Aug 2021, 11:45 pm AEST

Re: Help desperately needed but where to find it?

Thank you @Former-Member

We've never been told about Outreach workers following any of my daughter's hospital admissions. Although usually she's been admitted for ECT or TMS, this is the first time because of a suicide attempt. I will try to find out if there is any support like that in our state.

It's reassuring to hear that 3 years after your attempt you have survived and are helping others. That gives me hope.

I really appreciate your reply..

In response to: Re: Help desperately needed but where to find it?

SmagigyCasual Contributor24 Aug 2021, 1:18 pm AEST

Re: Help desperately needed but where to find it?

Thank you for sharing, There is hope for your daughter, I am an example of that hope, I have been in icu after attemps three times, I have had 12 x ECT and have been in mental health hospitals three times, once for three months, and I have survived.

It took me a while to discover that the most damage done to me was through mental health services themselves.

Finding the right medication is paramount in the fight against depression, and then there is purpose, which is a reason to fight.

Life is Pleasue and Pain and when you are depressed all you have is Pain, so to balance this one needs to find some pleasure in life.

I would love to offer more advice but I tend to get censored on these forums.

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