separated, illness, anxiety, depression and chronic pain

Hi @Tigga19. Having spinal and kidney problems would make for a very painful life. Was your hubby supportive with your illnesses? My ex has caused untold problems, he's flatly refused to co-operate in any way. He got a speeding ticket recently, he has my old car, we bought a new one just before I left. We never re-registered the car in his name, so when he got the ticket, it came to me. I would've lost demerit points too. I went to a J.P who signed the ticket, then I sent it back to the issuing office. I presume the ticket was re-issued to him as I never heard any more. I tried to arrange a meeting between ex, a counsellor and mediator, ex initially agreed, then his parents needed him, so he cancelled. His parents were the main catalyst that led to me leaving. We had been married 25 years. I self-blamed initially, then realized I'd made the first mistake getting tied up with a mama's boy. I have raised my kids to be fairly independent, I was 'there' for them as children, but once they left home and married, it was their life. My ex's parents believed it's their role to guide the kids right through their lives. My ex FIL is a chauvinist, ex MIL narcissist, so they were always 'there'. I am not divorced, never will be, ex refused to sign papers initiating divorce which means going to court, I can't afford that, so I have to accept my life . I'm actually quite happy, though. I think being in my situation stops me from making another catastrophic mistake. I'm not sure a relationship is right for me, I don't really know what I want, so being single suits me. Do you have pain relief? Hope so, you need to rest, so pain relief is important.

@Tigga19. Just as a matter of interest, my kids are not my ex's kids. I was married at 19 to my kids father. This hubby was my 3rd. My ex's parents tried to treat my kids as though their own g'children, but my kids were never comfortable. When my ex in-laws started telling me off in front of my kids, they reacted. My daughter refused to talk to them, my son told them not to speak to me like that. My hubby told my kids to behave themselves, my kids wouldn't talk to him, it was a disaster. Since I left hubby, my kids and I have become a lot closer. My kids can be a bit out-spoken, but I've raised them to be honest. They do think before they speak, (son more than daughter). They both believe that when they say how they feel, as long as they're polite, they have the right to their opinions. My ex in-laws, have called them cheeky, undisciplined, rude, ill-mannered etc. My ex in-laws have these same faults, interesting, because they're old, they believe they have the right to be cheeky, ill-mannered, rude etc.