Severely emotionally cheated on - Devastated and Angry

I ended the relationship I was in 9 days ago. When I came to the knowledge that my ex had been emotionally cheating on me for six weeks, the betrayal was too much and I ended the relationship. I don't have any desire to get back with her or work on repairing the relationship I was in. For me trust can never be restored.

I have organised therapy to try deal with what I have been through, but need to wait a bit because therapist is pretty booked up. My feelings and emotions are so mixed. I'm pretty much everywhere emotionally. Angry, sad, in pain, devastated, I try not to think about it. Because the experience of this happening, thoughts creep in. It's hard to push them away. I don't want to feel. I just want to numb it out. I can't even talk about the actual things she did. To say what happened and what she did is too much for my head and heart to comprehend.

I just keep asking myself how am I going to get through this all. I don't have any real answers. I had a friend come stay with me for a week three days after I ended the relationship. I was just not coping with anything at all. I don't remember a lot. I was distraught when I was ending the relationship and don't recall much at all. Just snippets. I slept for three days straight after I ended it. I know I've been traumatised. What has stopped me from talking to a helpline in the meantime is I just don't trust anyone really.

I actually have no clue how to get through every minute of everyday. It wasn't a good relationship by any means, finding out that she had been emotionally cheating on me was the last straw.

Besides my friend that stayed with me for a week, I just don't feel anyone actually cares for me.