Things are Anything but Fine

well hello everyone this week has become one of those weeks issues forst started on Monday really in terms of too much going on and then yesterday the added worry about wether someone is in fact wanting me to be there girlfriend and the fact he still hasnt got back to me despite me sending countless messages about how I feel about him this has been one of those weeks but not very much time to rest or work through these things as there is a bunch of appointments for the afternoon,forst an in person appointment then multiple online parent teacher interviews to do when I get back from that appointment I am carer for someone who is not my child and as for my personal issues that cant be sorted I mean he hasnt blocked me but I have barely time today to calm myself down as I have to keep on my feet doing theses appointment things for the afternoon,I didnt sleep at all last night,feeling emotional and overtired,obsessing over messages,lashing out online,reading books,listening to music ,talking to lifeline at like 4am but couldnt sleep for the whole night,now I only have about 30 minutes to get to in person appointment after staying in bed till lunchtime,havnt eaten,forgot to take my meds last night because of obsessing over what was the relationship and Ill keep obsessing unfortunetly untill I get some solid answers as to why he hasnt goteen back to me at all since then gosh its hard Im kind of in denial that hel even comeback now with the amount of messages Ive Bombarded him with not a good week ,Ive had meds now but most likely will have too much of it in terms of having another tablet late today besides that I have to get going to this appointment,I showered but the water was cold sheesh one of those flat out weeks just venting everything sorry maybe Im overreacting,maybe but theres not a way to know the answer to that unfortunetly maybe its best not to have feelings for people especially romantically cause then at least you wont get hurt and cry in the middle of the night,so panicked and restless I wanted to get up last night and go for a walk out in the dark at like 4am no time to deal with emotion have to deal with appointments thanks for listening hope everyone is having a better day just feel emotionally triggored by everything my advice never hold back your good honest and true feelings for someone cause otherwise youll lose them ,no matter how much it seemed they would stay they dont