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I feel sad

I feel sad

I feel sad and I'm not sure why. I thought I would start writing about it and see what comes out. I don't mind feeling sad because I usually can't feel anything at all.

I'm in bed with my hot water bottle under my feet and a cup of tea. My Pug is snoring softly beside me. I haven't had a shower tonight because I'm too tired (and it's too cold). I was about to watch Midsomer Murders but then I realised that I feel sad.

I think it has something to do with talking to my therapist (I spoke to her tonight on the phone). I think I feel sad because it has been 20 years since I last saw her and my life is very bad now.

And when we spoke on the phone she said she doesn't think I'm capable of working at all at the moment. This is of course true but it made me sad. I said I would like to work one day but now I'm thinking maybe that will never happen because I'm too old. How am I going to achieve my dream of having a bigger house and as many dogs as I want if I can't work?

I will watch Midsomer Murders now. It's my go-to comfort show.

9 replies

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In response to: I feel sad

Re: I feel sad

Hi i hope youre doing better, you said you don't mind feeling sad because you usually can't feel anything at all.
Would you say it is Apathy or Existential ninhilism that is reason behind the sadness/sorrow ?

In response to: I feel sad

Re: I feel sad

Hey @Arizona,

Than you for sharing.. and you are right... How do you get a bigger house and as many dogs as you like (i love this dream!!, I want at least 8 dogs).

I guess the answer is planning, while you cannot work at the moment, you can still use your life experience to help you plan your best path to your goal. You are never too old.. it just take one step to start a journey.

Here is a video that i watched and enjoyed that gave me some motivation to do some planning.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=arj7oStGLkU

Thanks

Aussie Recharger.

In response to: I feel sad

Re: I feel sad

@Arizona

Midsummer is my go-to show as well. I was in the UK on my birthday 5 years ago and treated myself to a private limmo tour of the filming locations. But I re-watch the old ones.

For the first time in history I turned off the latest one on ABC iView because it was just too irritating. While the characters in it were always eccentric, they were believable. I think the writers have lost the balancing act between quirky and ridiculous. John & Sarah Barnaby are way too old to have had that baby and Fleur is a pantomime. Annette Baddely (good actress) does the best she can with an increasingly cringe worthy script.

What got to me this week was the over the top political correctness. I'm totally on board with inclusivity and diversity and MSM has always been pretty good at that. It seems to me now though that we must have a Mulsim, an ethnically diverse marriage and an Asian and someone with Afro-Carribean origins in EVERY episode.

While this is pretty much the norm in the cities it is an extremely unlikely demographic in a small, rural village. However, this it not what peed me off.

There was a vicar who's character was called Fergus Rooney. Don't get much more Irish than that, but the actor was Asian, I think Chinese. No problem with having an Asian vicar, there are tons of them, - but don't give him a quintessentially Irish name FFS. To me, that seemed more racist - to just pretend it wasn't a thing - than acknowledging the actor's ethnicity in the script.

I turned it off. I don't know who did and for the first time in living memory, I don't care. Tomorrow I will probably go back to "The Killings at Badgers Drift" and start again from the beginning until John Nettles leaves.

In response to: Re: I feel sad

Re: I feel sad

Hi @SJT63

I know what you mean. British television has lost its Britishness. And you can't even say that because people will accuse you of being racist.

The later episodes of Midsomer Murders are terrible. I can hardly watch them (I'm up to Season 17). I too prefer the earlier episodes with John Nettles.

I agree: the relationship between the new DCI Barnaby and his wife is absolutely awful to watch.

I had a partner who died in a car accident several years ago and watching Midsomer Murders was how I coped with his death. I watched Midsomer Murders and ate Thai take away food every night ($20 a night for the Thai food, but I could afford it then).

I subscribed to Britbox but I have cancelled my membership. They don't have anything good. I miss proper British telly.

In response to: I feel sad

Re: I feel sad

oh no @Arizona thats not good hope your doing better today ,youve felt triggored possibly by your therapist in some way?

In response to: Re: I feel sad

Re: I feel sad

@Arizona @SJT63

Just wanted to say I love this random British television conversation.. it came out of nowhere and it's awesome. @Arizona Sorry for your loss, I wish your discovery of MSM was due to a different reason....

In response to: Re: I feel sad

Re: I feel sad

Hi @AussieRecharger

I was aware of Midsomer Murders before he died. And I don't associate the show with his death. Watching the show isn't about him.

In response to: Re: I feel sad

Re: I feel sad

Sorry, @Arizona - poor choice of wording on my part.

How are you feeling today?

In response to: Re: I feel sad

Re: I feel sad

@Arizona I had a partner who died a few years ago, in hospital. I was holding his hand while we watched "Lewis" and he quietly stopped breathing. I still enjoy Lewis. I just scrapped Netflix & Prime and got Britbox. I'm ejoying it now, but will probably scrap it when I've watched all the old shows that interest me and move onto something else.

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