Yeah. Trust is hard. It's also pretty important and so comforting when you find it.
Maybe I'm saying to the people that inspire trust.
Maybe I'm saying find a way to make the boundaries, communicate the needs, redraw the contract and foster trust with the people you already got.
Maybe I'm saying both, depending on each situation, it's hard for me to say.
I think it's good to ask the question, what would it take to facilitate the experience of trust? I think that's what you're asking and I think it's a fair guess that it's usually a mix of the two (new people and new approaches). The balance of that mix is a pretty subjective.
Maybe (you're putting me on a tangent here) trust is like love. The process of trusting others is also the process of trusting yourself (in the context of other people). Which means you've got to honor your instincts and also you're feelings and also you're cognitive resources. From a "triune mind" perspective you're got to trust yourself twice. Maybe three times. Like a sort of "internal democracy". The stomach, the heart and brain all get a vote and all get their say. When people manage to do that within themselves, social trust seems to go a lot easier. Maybe "secure attachment" is a process that's equally external and internal.
I don't know about you guys, but sometimes, little ole' me sometime dictates over myself and sometimes gangs up on myself. Sometimes one system will override all the other systems but other times it's multiple systems creating "voting blocks". Both the minority/majority have both been right/wrong on multiple occasions. What's really good is when they (we) find a way to get along. No-one even has to be right all the time. It's just nice to be co-operating for it its own emotional sake and also the other reasons.
