Unknown userMember
A momentary lapse of reason
I get up in the morning do my morning ritual, like everyone else. At some point, I hear what sounds like some people talking. I think, where is that coming from? It sounds like the neighbours. Are they talking about me? Did I do something wrong? No, that is silly. But what if they are talking about me? Should I confront them? No, that would be awkward. So why are they talking about me? I know. They probably smell me. I haven't had a shower yet. I walk into the bathroom. I notice my towel is damp, and I think did someone have a shower and use my towel? I will swap it for a fresh towel. I don't have any fresh towels in the cupboard. Oh, yeah, they are out on the line. So I go out to get a towel. I still hear my neighbours talking. Well, now I am outside. They definitely can smell me. As I walk back inside, I notice the neighbour's car is not in their driveway. I think to myself, boy, my smell must have made them leave. I better have that shower. I have the shower, and I think this body wash bottle is almost empty. That is strange because I only got it a couple of days ago. It is OK. I have a few more opened bottles in the shower to choose from. I have to remember to get more bottles next pay. I hear a voice from inside the house, ah I know that voice that is my housemate. He says, are you taking another shower? I think, what does he mean, another one? I stutter back, uh I spilled my coffee all over myself and had to have another shower. He replies, oh, OK, be careful next time. I feel bad for lying, but I don't want to tell him the truth lest he goes back to the neighbours and informs them that I know they were talking about me. I hop out of the shower, dry myself off, do my general grooming and look in the reflection in the mirror and remind myself of Luke 11:39…Now you Pharisees cleanse the outside of the cup of the dish, but inside you are full of extortion and wickedness. I am not sure what the cup and dish have to do with anything, but I know I will never get rid of the smell of extortion and wickedness that my neighbours talked about with the cheap body wash.
