Numb from schizophrenia and sexual abuse

I am completely and utterly numb I barely feel alive and i have a barage of voices abusing me contantly reminding me of the man who abused me. I just want to feel myself so I can process the immense grief that is being suppressed under all this chaos. I can barely think, my sight has gone and ive lost my singing voice. I used to love music, dance and art and now i derive no joy from any of it.

I cant feel myself because all i feel and hear are the presence of other negative beings.

I am writing to ask if anyone has any resources that could guide me into feeling when in the midst of mental torture. I try yoga, i try many things but nothing works.

Im seeking someone who might have been through something similar to help guide me.

any youtube videos or websites would help. something different.

i want to rise above the voices i hear and not let them continue to rob me of my feeling and make me feel like i must resign to an enternity with my own abuser.

any help would be greatly appreciated.

the voices i hear are rapists and they have robbed me of my creativity, emotion and intuition not to mention my common sense and sense of belonging in this world.

i eagerly await any response.

thankyou