Confused and terrified about admitting my teen into hospital

Hi @sal2 ,

Thank you for sharing. The fear and anxiety around admitting your daughter into hospital is completely understandable, it sounds like you have a lot of unanswered questions about what to expect. As someone who was managing a complex mental health issues in my teens, dealing with suicidal thoughts and self harm, I often felt isolated/disconnected from my family as I lacked their support. I know that it would have meant the world if my parents helped me access the help I felt I needed, even if they weren't sure- like the way you have with your daughter. I can see you are doing your best given the circumstances, and that you love her and want what is best for her.

I do not have any experiences to share on hospitalisation, or Headpsace specifically, but I can share that the two biggest things I was looking for and needed was safety and direction. It was tough to think about the future and what steps to take with intrusive and dark thoughts often at the forefront of my mind. Finding a psychologist meant I didn't have to make all my decisions on my own and, perhaps strangely and selfishly, meant the "burden" of my safety was off myself and my family (as I knew they were mandatory reporters). It was an immense relief. Over a few months of therapy I did change slowly, and I am definitely different in a lot of ways now to how I was prior to therapy. I still have days where things are quite tough, but I feel more confident that I have the strength and skills to move past it on my own now. My friends and family also no longer experience overwhelming stress and anxiety about my wellbeing because I have learned how to manage my emotions and thoughts in a better way. My experiences and reasons for seeking support may different to your daughter's, it is different for everyone. It does sound like your daughter, however, knows she where she needs to be to be safe. She's lucky to have such a supportive parent!

It is completely normal to still have concerns and anxiety around this experience though, and perhaps other's contributions to the dicussion will help. I know some here share similar frustrations with navigating the healthcare system with booking psychologists and GPs. If you feel as though you need support through this stressful time, I hope you continue to reach out to us here on the forums. It's important to take care of yourself and your wellbeing as well. You are not alone and we are here to listen and chat with you!

from cloudcore

Hi @sal2 and welcome,
I'm not sure where to start, lots of emotions around this one for me although it is mainly my wife (aka my Darling) not a child that has required hospitalisation. The private hospital my wife attended was very caring and supportive of her, she spent over 4 months across a 12 month period with visits for time out / therapy but also at times suicide watch. During this time one of our children accessed Headspace and I was very happy with the care they provided. Thankfully we have a good GP who was also able to refer to another organisation (specific to our local area so I unfortunately name them) who provided excellent care for our S2 during this time. Headspace required over an hour of travel each way so the local org was a welcome relief.

But after that brief background, despite some reservations for some of our visits I think the hospital stays were beneficial. For me it was a relief not feeling responsible for her safety. Although I was able to visit daily, I'm not sure how I would have coped if I was unable to visit. That is a tough call. But for us there was really no other option.
And as cloudcore mentioned, the most important thing is for your daughter understands you are there for her. I can see that you are and want whats best for her. I found myself here on the forum initially for a similar reason as you have come, to ask questions as I was distressed about a course of treatment that my darling wanted to try but wanted to support her decision.

How different will your daughter be when she returns will depend entirly on your daughter, and that is not meant as a negative but to acknowledge that sometimes it is a long process that a short stay may not 'fix' but may give enough relief to be able to start a healing journey. And it does not reflect not wanting to be better just that it takes time to get better.

Hope this helps, Happy to try and answer any specific questions that you may have,

@sal2 can I also add that it is a good thing that your daughter is reaching out to you about this even if it does seem frustratingly limited. My darlings parents despite understanding she was anxious (add *as a child and young adult) and accommodating and supporting her the best they could never knew how bad it was because she refused to open up. It took midwives flagging after the birth of our first baby to bring it out into the open.

One thing I have had to learn to do is to slow down and listen (Both my darling and our children) as this has for us created more confidence to share when things were not all good. I am by nature a fixer and often trying to find and propose solutions just (again for us) shuts down channels of communication. I just wanted to share that not to discourage you, I can see you really care, just that it is something I had to learn the hard way so hoping it may be a helpful insight. Just that sometimes validation that yes life is hard and listening is more valuable to communication than offering up solutions for what to us (carers/ support people etc) are obvious 😞

But wit that in mind boundaries are also super important to creating an environment of security for our loved ones but that is a different discussion to what you are seeking here.
Hope this helps. I really feel for where you are and can relate to your reservations.

Hello @sal2

I'm glad you're here to ask these questions and to find support for you.

I joined this forum recently too, my 17 yo son has experienced anxiety most of his life I think, but certainly at 8yo it became extreme and life threatening, then last year he was diagnosed with schizophrenia and OCD. There's been suicide watch, dealing with cranky drug dealers who menaced us, police involvement, lots going on. All pretty stressful for the whole family. I also work in the welfare sector, so know a bit about how to navigate services etc. But nothing prepares you for being a parent, and wanting desperately for your child to be well and safe. And even if we know how to navigate a system, it takes people on the inside with the right authority to refer/navigate it for us.

I guess in short, the advice and suggestions others have given here are awesome, solid information. Being supportive, available, present with your daughter in her distress and your daughter being help seeking is more powerful than you can know, and your love is amazing!!! Your family supporting your daughter is amazing!!! Your daughter being help seeking is a huge positive. You've tried everything you know to get support, I can see you've been trying so hard.

So some inside info: headspace is generally for lower level to moderate mental ill health in young people. While they can refer on, and they can assist with access to telehealth psychiatry, it sounds like your daughter's current situation may be a bit complex for their services. However, well worth trying and at least staying in touch with them.

Is going back to CAMHS an option?

Are you in NSW? I find the 24/7 Mental Health Line is invaluable in helping to obtain immediate advice/information at any time of day or night, a great support for family who are in 'holding mode' while waiting for a medical response, and so invaluable if I need guidance around decision making: 1800 011 511.

My son has recently asked for more help too, his meds aren't working well, and Covid-19 fears and conpiracy worries are really messing with his wellbeing. It's been a week of back and forth with his CAMHS worker and psychiatrist, but he's been referred to a sub acute unit for a 2-3 week hospitalisation so they can quickly change his meds. They can do it quicker and safer there than in the community. We're in country NSW and his hospital is also, so I will be able to go for walks with him - not sure if I can visit and enter the unit though. I agree it will be really tough if you can't see your daughter, however know that she will be safe, and you can contact her.

Can your daughter ask for a hospitalisation? Yes, for sure. Seeking help early is really insightful.

This is going to be a huge learning curve for both of you, so part of your preparation is to equip yourself with information so you can give it to your daughter in small amounts to help her prepare for being hospitalised. You will need to also set up some supports for you so that you can cope, and not show your daughter that you are too worried/concerned. She needs you to look after her, and to not feel pressure about needing to go to hospital. I hope all will be well.

We will be here to support you. Also, if you'd find it helpful, eheadspace has a family and friends service that can also support you and other family/friends who want to talk with a mental health clinican about your daughter's health and recovery.