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exhausted

Eden1919Senior Contributor14 July 2021, 5:52 pm AEST

exhausted

i am exhausted and it is happening again like he said it would the plan slowly falling into place the pieces clicking together i tried to fight it for so long but how much longer can i go what if they wont let me go much longer, it has already been too long in their eyes i am overdue for it i have nothing left to bargain with nothing left to offer in return my soul is practically already theirs i have tried and tried and tried again over and over and over i begged i pleaded i knealed before them for just a little just a bit more. i dont know what will come of it this time but i know i am exhausted i know i am on the the edge but will they push me off this time or do they still want to play with me a little longer. whatever the outcome it is my fault and for that i can only apologise.

14 replies

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In response to: exhausted

GwynnSenior Contributor14 July 2021, 6:15 pm AEST

Re: exhausted

@Eden1919 , are you safe? That's what matters. What's happening with you?

In response to: exhausted

HistoryloverSenior Contributor14 July 2021, 6:38 pm AEST

Re: exhausted

@Eden1919 I don't know what to say to you, my friend. I feel your pain and it's so like mine. Just hold on. We send you our hearts full of love and concern.

In response to: exhausted

JynxModerator14 July 2021, 6:52 pm AEST

Re: exhausted

Hey @Eden1919, here to support you. What can your forums family do to help you make sense of your world right now? Sitting with you

In response to: Re: exhausted

Eden1919Senior Contributor14 July 2021, 8:02 pm AEST

Re: exhausted

@Gwynn @Historylover @Jynx thank you all, i think i am safe at the moment at least i am not planning to hurt myself or anything like that. there is just a lot going on and idk how to fix it some of it maybe cant be fixed and i am scared that HE is trying to hurt me again. or that maybe it never stopped in the first place. i know i need sleep but everytime i try i just toss and turn. i know i need water but it is too hard to drink. i cannot cry it out i cried yesterday and it made things worse. i dont know what to do. i am trying to distract myself but it is hard when my head feels all foggy.

In response to: Re: exhausted

GwynnSenior Contributor14 July 2021, 8:25 pm AEST

Re: exhausted

Hi @Eden1919 , glad to hear you are safe. Sometimes when it all gets too much it can be helpful to do some self care. Can you have a drink or something to eat? Maybe a shower would help.

In response to: Re: exhausted

DaisydreamerSenior Contributor14 July 2021, 8:34 pm AEST

Re: exhausted

Hi @Eden1919 and thank you for checking back in and letting us know you are safe at the moment It sounds like you are sitting with a lot on your shoulders tonight and feeling fearful. We are here to sit with you

You've mentioned you are trying distraction, but that has been hard to do. If you are comfortable to share, when you have felt like this before, what distractions have you turned to in past?

In response to: Re: exhausted

Eden1919Senior Contributor15 July 2021, 11:56 am AEST

Re: exhausted

@Gwynn @Daisydreamer thanks, I have been trying to watch Netflix and I tried to go to bed early but it didn’t work. Idk I still feel weird today.

In response to: Re: exhausted

DaisydreamerSenior Contributor15 July 2021, 12:59 pm AEST

Re: exhausted

@Eden1919💜💜 Good on you for giving Netflix a go. Sending thoughts your way today and hoping you feel the SANE family is here for you today should you need a listening ear

In response to: exhausted

Lost9Senior Contributor15 July 2021, 4:06 pm AEST

Re: exhausted

Sounds like you are in a place I have been. Do you have a dr you can talk to? It might help. Sending hugs and hope you feel better soon.

In response to: Re: exhausted

Eden1919Senior Contributor15 July 2021, 9:19 pm AEST

Re: exhausted

@Daisydreamer @Lost9 thanks.

I didnt get much sleep last night and i am so tired and overwhelmed still. everything is such a mess and i want to scream cause i am so agitated but there is nothing much i can do.

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