Bipolar relative asking for money

@Pondering I think sticking to boundaries is important. If they have chosen to go off their medication then whatever the consequences of that are their responsibility, not yours. Sticking to the established boundaries will only serve to help them in the long run. Medication = smarter choices

@bipolarbunny @BPDSurvivor

@Pondering As @saltandpepper has already said sticking to boundaries is very important. Absolutely do not give in and enable them to continue spending without consequence, especially when it is your money. They may get upset with you, but they have to take responsibility for their own illness, ie take their medication, learn their triggers, learn boundaries and learn how to stick to them.
I have bipolar 1 and get mania and the "urge to splurge" also so I can understand this from both sides. Sometimes we need tough love, we don't like hearing it, but it is absolutely necessary for our recovery and treatment. And sometimes tough love is the other person saying No and is us falling on our butts and learning the responsibility of looking after ourselves, by staying on our medication, by asking other people to help us when we are in danger of spiraling out of control, etc.
It is perfectly fine to want to help this person and is is perfectly understandable to not want to upset them. But there is also a time when giving them some cold hard facts and setting some tough boundaries and sticking to them are necessary. You absolutely do not have to justify yourself. You have to look after yourself and your finances too.
I hope this helps. xx

BB 🐰💙

Great advice @bipolarbunny 👍

@Daisydreamer @TideisTurning ...

This is a tricky one @Pondering as I can hear your love for this relative but you also do not want to continue to prop them up. Does this close relative have supports in place you can contact to get them some additional help - and do you also have support? I do understand your fear of them becoming hostile but you also have to look after yourself first. I would like to flag 1800 RESPECT here for you (in case you do not know of them already) as if it becomes an abusive situation they may be able to help. We are here for you also

Hi @Pondering ,

Giving money is not an answer. Think about it...money is used to buy things we 'need'. So instead of providing money, perhaps offer what they 'need' instead? For example, if they claim they need food, purchase the food for them. This is a safer compromise than just giving money to them. However, it reduces the likelihood of bringing a family divide.

Sounds like your relative needs more formal helps from outside. You cannot just STOP meds, esp for bipolar.

BPDSurvivor