Does anyone else feel like this?

Hello @Arizona

Yes I can relate to this. I believe it stems from childhood. Not feeling loved, good enough, protected.

I'm sorry you feel this way. Do you have therapy? I believe therapy might help you get to the cause of why you feel like this to enable you to turn the feelings around 🤞💕

I'm not good enough was the running theme in my thoughts and self talk. It spiralled downward from there.

my doctors, medication and meditation have helped. It's a work in progress.
so no. You are not alone

Hi @Arizona .

Big question. The short answer is: yes, I've often wondered if I'm more bad guy then good guy. Despite all my efforts to make the world a better place, it seemed like I always ended up ultimately creating more misery and discomfort in the world then happiness.

Now it seems all I am capable of doing is projecting pesimism and negativity out into the world; ostensibly for the purposes of provoking some ultimately good response. But it usually feels like I'm doing wrong things for the right reasons. Motives aside, doing the wrong thing is still doing the wrong thing.

I just don't understand the world well enough to be able to play it in such a way as to generate genuine delight. I don't know what people want, and because of that, I provoke only dissatisfaction. And as the years go by, I only get more and more confused. I think I've given up trying to figure it out.

Frankly, the more and more I've examined the society around me (trying to figure out how to engage with it), the more and more I've come to lose respect for it. It leads you to some pretty dark thoughts about what society - and the people who make it up - deserve. And when you start having those sorts of attitudes about people... yes, it does make you very, very concerned that you are a bad person. Plenty of other universally acknowledged "bad people" have been found to harbor similar thoughts.