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RUOK

BarklyCasual Contributor09 Sept 2016, 10:35 am AEST

RUOK

Hi all....,

New here so not sure yet how it all works.

I realise the idea of the RUOK day is all good, but if (unlikely) someone (especially a stranger) was to ask me if I was OK, even if I was feeling absolutely crap, I would NOT divulge how I was feeling. Even a family member asking would get the same reply.... And if I did say I wasn't good then what? "Visit your GP", or "Go to the local hospital".... After past experiences, those would be the last people I would visit... I've been "locked away" a couple of times and I've promised myself I would NEVER go back there....

Sorry, but I don't think it's a great idea....

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In response to: RUOK

NikolaiSenior Contributor16 Sept 2016, 8:12 am AEST

Re: RUOK

Sorry I am a bit late on the bandwagon here been very busy over the last week. I agree, I posted something on my Facebook basically along those lInes. But also I think that society has not been educated well enough to deal with anything other than a 'yes' response. If we were to go into any more detail than 'I'm feeling a little down in the dumps' people would have no idea how to respond. Essentially it is only useful if you're suffering from a mild depressive episode. For any other mental illness the stigma is still alive and kicking.

In response to: Re: RUOK

BarklyCasual Contributor17 Sept 2016, 5:36 pm AEST

Re: RUOK

Yep Nikolai... you hit the nail on the head.... Society, even with all the recent publicity, still treats us "loonies" as someone to avoid at all costs... Think about how many people casually ask "How are you today?" and always my answer is "Good thanks".... I often wonder what the reaction would be if the check-out chick REALLY copped how I was actually feeling...! You only have to listen to people in a Doctor's waiting room when they see someone they know... "Hey, hello, how are you?" and the reply,"Yeah good thanks, how are you?".... and this from someone waiting to see a doctor???

Anyway... time to get off my soapbox...

In response to: Re: RUOK

Unknown userMember17 Sept 2016, 6:32 pm AEST

Re: RUOK

It sounds good in principle but, to be honest, if I asked one of my colleagues that question and they said no, I wouldn't feel capable of responding. That's why I don't ask. It's not that I don't notice - I definitely do. I don't want to know the answer because I know it's worse to ask and then dismiss the reply, than not to ask at all. I'm not sure that the general public is any better equipped than me in this area.

And for myself, I know for certain that nobody in my life could comprehend my response to that question so I will always say 'yes'.

In response to: RUOK

Unknown userMember17 Sept 2016, 8:47 pm AEST

Re: RUOK

A person who has MI once said,' my friends and some family members have decided to join a fun run to raise awareness for MI'. I said that's great. She said, 'yeah but I can't even leave the house and I have a fear of crowds! '. We had a good laugh over it, but the truth was how much do these awareness days really help individuals? . R U OK day sounds good. I even posted it on fb. But even though it addresses one on one help, many won't truthfully answer, and if one opens up, how prepared will the questioner be?. And how much damage will caused by asking? 22 push ups charity was running at the same time. Men nominated to do 22 push ups for military PTSD Suicide Prevention. It got more likes and shares than R U OK?. And men were talking. Gotta be a good thing.
The times I have needed help is because I knew that I could ring Lifeline and Beyond Blue, etc. They work closely with the Mental Health Team. Calls are private and taken by trained staff. So they are advertised and awareness is given to them. They are doing well as far as making themselves known. If a person comes to me for help, I pass on these numbers or websites. I think this is just as good if not better than one day a year, we ask R U OK? .

In response to: RUOK

Ffm48Senior Contributor18 Sept 2016, 6:11 am AEST

Re: RUOK

I'm a bit late in responding; however, I have been travelling across the globe and actually I'm feeling like crap. Here's my tuppence worth.

From where I'm standing asking people RUOK on RUOK-Day is pretty useless. It seems to me it is more of a day to raise awareness to actually ask people how they feel; then listen. The mere asking can save lives. I was suicidal; had it all worked out ... the means, the method, the time ... I was figuring out the place. Then someone asked and I fobbed him off. But he ever so gently insisted he was interested in hearing why I would consider suicide. To cut a long story short I did spill my sorry story and he guided me to the right therapists. That was four years ago.

Last week a student I had mentored 16 years ago, told me she was ready to give up and didn't, simply because I kept asking her how she was getting on, whether she was ok, could I do something to help her. I had had no idea I had made any impact on her, let alone in what depression she was in.

So, smiley bikkies for RUOK-Days? - well no. Grabbing a cuppa with someone who is doing it tough and listening without judgement or "good" advice - a definite yes from me.

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