define normal

..why change if you are comfortable? @Former-Member just a thought ..nine words. Lol

Hi @Former-Member, I think mine would be to live a functional life where I can give as much as I take from everyone. At the moment that is too scewed. Cheers💜😊

Great question!

My 'normal' is when I get up out of bed and go through my day and time just flies. Things don't seem particularly stressful and I easily have enough energy to do everything.

The phone rings and I let the answering machine take a message and I don't even feel guilty. I go for a walk in the forest without even checking my hair or co-ordinating my outfit. I don't worry what I look like. I eat chocolate cake for breakfast and don't give it a second thought. It doesn't matter.

I get lots of creative ideas about stuff. I make some drawings. The drawings lead to more creative ideas.

If I run into someone I know, I don't stress about saying the right thing. I just smile and say 'hi' and let them do all the talking, if they want to. I don't give them a second thought when we say 'bye'. I don't wonder what they think of me. I'm too busy with my own stuff to do.

I don't worry about leaving dishes unwashed. I'd much rather sit down and watch T.V. for a while. I watch a good documentary but I don't start worrying about the world- poverty, exploitation, crime....I just think "Oh, well, I'm lucky... I'm safe and comfortable. I'm blessed to live in a great country."

I pick flowers from the garden, I bake a pretty cake, I listen to relaxing music and when 5pm comes around, I pour a glass of white wine and enjoy every mouthful!

To me... 'normal' is to be free of worry. It doesn't happen very often, but when it does; it's bliss.

I don't ever want to be "normal"!! I enjoy being me, even if its not everyone elses idea of perfect. I've accepted my illness and embrace it. Sure its a pain in the ... sometimes, but its me.

As you've mentioned everyone has issues, it's just that some of us go to a doctor and get a diagnosis for our "differences" and some don't. Who's really mentally ill? The ones with a diagnosis or the ones who havent looked that deep?

hi @TAB im comfortable with who i am as a person i just dont like my mind set and everybody has something they want to change about themselves but just because you have things you want to change doesnt mean you cant be comfortable with who you are

hi @Former-Member i recently just went through a stage of not wanting to take anymore cause i thought i was taking too much but my sister who was the one giving me the most told me to look back at my life and how much i gave even when i didnt think i was able to so it doesnt make me as guilty anymore but i can understand the feeling like you take too much and dont give enough back

hi @Sahara you seem to a very clear veiw of what your normal is and im glad that you have been able to feel this for you but dont get down over not being able to be there all the time i have my noraml days and then i have my special normal days where like you said everything is bliss maybe you just have 2 different normals.

hi @Princessmolly understand the feeling of being at rock bottom and feeling like its impossible to get back up so why not just end i was alot younger and in very different circumstances but i promise you that no matter how far down you are and how stuck you feel there is away to get back up it just takes patience and getting the right help and accepting you need it believe ive been to rock bottom and i felt like i would be stuck there and it would never get better but it slowly did it took a long time though it been 14 years since i was there and i come along way but i know i still have longer still before i get back to the top and that one day i will reach it i just gotta keep putting one foot infront of the other and you will find once you start moving it gets easier to keep going

hi @Alone i completly get what your saying i know i have an illness and i accept that its there and i need help to learn to deal with it but to cope but i know it there and it is part of me

@Princessmolly I can so relate to that.. guess it's about taking little 'wins', it can get boring when end back up in same spot sometimes tho ..

For a last 20 years I have questioned "normal" and spoken about the normal curve or bell curve .. saying normal is a range of behaviours. A lot of different people and attitudes, beliefs, behaviours fit into that range.

The idea of trying to define what normal is for me .. is new. I have tried to fit in with others' expectations, families, organisations etc too much and though it has helped me develop diplomacy and flexibility it has not helped my stability or self esteem.

My new psychologist noticed that I try and shrink my self to fit in. I have done that in a million ways ... from stooping and to silence, submissive behaviours etc. I am very tall and even that aspect of physically shrinking and being put down as I was too big ... so had to have another set of clothes ... or was unfeminine etc etc ... let alone in the emotional expression field.

I am working on it ... I have a stable physical situation now so I am working on the interpersonal and emotional stuff ...always a work in progress ...