@Former-Member
Hello florenceforty,
The idea of keeping a water bottle nearby was never terribly appealing to me, however, I now try to remember to keep a litre of water with me most of the time. This way, I just take a mouthful or two whenever I think about it, or feel thirsty. I normally have about two litres of water each day in this way. Because I use a staff, to assist with walking, I normally have a backpack wherever I go, to carry smallish items and shopping, so it is easy to carry a litre of water in the pack.
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Food intake is not required to be as regular as water. Even so, reduced fluid intake is not likely to have significantly adverse effects unless it is very hot and you have high fluid loss from perspiration etc, combined with ignoring normal thirst signals and requirements, with no additional fluid intake. While I can't offer medical advice, it sounds as though the situation that you are experiencing would not meet those conditions.
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It appears to me that your situation, with regard to the person you have described, is what you need to address, in order to move forward in and with your life. Maybe the first thing to change is the reference to "my ex". The other person is a person in their own right, no longer attached to you, except, in your mind, internally and externally, by you referring to them as "my ex". With this term, you are conveying a remaining sense of ownership. Not necessarily, of the person, but of a type of remnant of relationship, that appears, from what you have said, to no longer exist. That is, despite the hurt and pain that the acknowledgement of that fact involves. It is by using the term "my ex" that you keep the other person mentally attached to yourself.
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It is not the other person who causes the issues for you, but rather your own internal "mechanism". Even today, my reference to my former wife and love is, as "the mother of my children". Unless I have been sadly misguided and deceived, I am simply referring to her in a way that I believe to be factually and physically correct. If we had not had children, I would be inclined to use a reference, if any were required for the purpose of discussion, such as "a former partner". This then, is a general term and not personalised, such as "my former partner", which would be personal and specific.
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The difficulty of the close proximity of a "past love" is something of which I am very familiar. It does take a conscious effort to deal with your own internal personal reactions and responses. The first awareness to develop is that it is not the other person who is responsible or the cause for our feelings. We are responsible for our own feelings. Paradoxically, removing yourself from the physical presence of the other person is not always effective for this very reason, since the issue is internal, within us, not external. We can have recollections just by seeing someone similar in appearance, and feel those same yearnings, and consequent feelings of loss and grief. Added to those feelings is one particular feelng, that is very difficult to address, the feeling of rejection. There is real "loss and grief" after the break-down of a significant relationship. I believe that we need to be aware of that and deal with our feelings in those terms. That process can be rather fluctuating with significant ups and downs.
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It is only when we realise that the other person is flesh, blood and psyche, that we begin to realise that there are other people, who are in our world environment, who can be just as, if not more special, than that person, or others we have loved before. That does not mean that we no longer care about the other person or people, it means a change in the way that we do so. We also process and become aware of a diminishing sense of rejection that comes through developing relationships with other people. When we have other people accepting and liking us, we become aware that what was perceived as rejection was really just a matter of choice, that was not within our capacity to effect or modify.
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All this internal mental and emotional activity is probably what is causing you to feel the need for hospital attention, rather than any lack of water. The stresses experienced following relationship break-down can closely mimic other physiological effects. I, obviously, know nothing about your life and personal development. I know that I used to believe that there was the “one special person” out there for me, and without that special person I wasn't complete. That was particularly so, when our relationship disintegrated. That belief in a “one special person” was unsound and caused me significant angst and consequent depression. I am now aware that there are many different people "out there", who interact with me, and I with them, at different levels of closeness and intensity. I am still not a subscriber to the idea of free agency (simply looking for the right sexual partner) till we find the so-called "right one". However, I do believe that it is healthy in terms of physical and psychological development to engage with a broader range of people, socially, intellectually and within reasonable, self aware boundaries, physically also.
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I sincerely hope that you will take steps to extricate yourself from the web of feelings, of the particularly distressing type that you are experiencing at the present time. I believe, that it is only when you accept and accommodate the awareness that you need to take that action, that you will be able to move forward in and with your life.
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With My Very Best Wishes
HenryX
